The Return of the Power Hungry Monarchs!
by MBDTA
Summary: And the final part of the failed fucsianess! sequel to FotF and TTPBNlT! Quickly moving toward the destruction of the ring, everyone begins to question Ernie's alligance as things get weird. LegolasOC HaldirOC GlorfindelOC
1. Pink beats Purple!

**The Return of the Power Hungry Monarch**

**And the Final Part of the Failed Fuchsianess**

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Summary/Warning/Author's Note/Oh whatever! 

**Oh my goodness! After 2.5 years of writing this, we're finally on the final part of the trilogy!! We will be writing a sequel, making the trilogy a quartet, but that's another book away. Once we're done, I will return to my sue-bashing.**

**Seriously people, how do you write 2.5 years and get only um...114 + 88 reviews? PEOPLE WE LOVE REVIEWS!!!!!!! REVIEW! TELL PEOPLE TO REVIEW AND READ OUT STORY!!! WE LOVE YOU ALL AND HAVE COOKIES!!!**

This is the third installment of _The Ton of the Jewelery Box_ (i.e. The Nobility of Shiny Stuff). If you are utterly confused, I sugest you return to our bio and read _Fellowship of the Freaks_ first. Proceed on as directed. Warning: we are not on drugs, but are incrediby crazy. Several characters may be bashed beyond recognition. Such as Pastrami, who I shall not reveal until his time has arrived. (no pastrami, GET AWAY FROM THE KEYBOARD! yes, tht is called akeyboard. Shush, Pastrami!) (sorry)

In this portion of the series, our daring, broken fellowship/hitchhikers seek to destroy the ring of Sauron. (Well what else do you expect them to do?) The authors attempt to keep their charaters from destroying plot more than they have to in order to avoid copyright infringment.

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**Chapter 1**

**Pink beats Purple!**

**_In which the fuchsianess in introduced and Amanda is informed that not everyone likes hugs_**

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**Kelsey's PoV**

"Awaken, Lady Kelsey!" Aragorn shook me awake.

"What?" I rolled over.

"The enemy has flown overhead, we must ride!" He left as I sat up.

"The enemy – WAIT!" I shook Mandy, "Mandy, Pippin looked at the Palantir and we missed it!"

"That's nice." Mandy rolled over, "Wake me up when breakfast's ready."

"AMANDA GET UP THIS INSTANCE BEFORE YOU GET EATEN BY A NAZGUL!" I screamed, to which not only Mandy but several others gave me odd looks and even frightened ones as they grabbed for weapons. Upon finding out there was no Nazgul, they all glared at me. "What?"

We were soon ready to depart and rode into the night. Mandy sat like a sack of potatoes on her horse and I wasn't much better. I simply tried to stay awake. The soft clop clop of horses seemed a quiet lullaby. Clop clop clop clop. It grew louder. Wait, louder? I looked up to see someone approaching and everyone stopped.

"Who are you? What is your haste?" Eomer called out, continuing some conversation.

"Halbarad, Dunadan, ranger of the North I am." The shadow answerer, "We seek one Aragorn son of Arathorn and we heard that he was in Rohan."

"Oh." Mandy muttered, "It's just Halbarad."

"Just Halbarad? Just Halbarad?" I was shocked, "Nickel tell Mandy how –Nickel? Where is she? She came from Isengard with us . . . where did she go?"

"Maybe she went with Gandalf." Mandy offered.

"But her horse is over there and Shadowfax could not carry three people."

"Ernie isn't here either, maybe she doubled up."

"No his horse is still here too."

"Another mystery!" Mandy announced dramatically, "To be solved by the great Amanda!"

"Sure, whatever." And we rode on.

* * *

**Nickel's PoV**

Shadowfax slowed below us as dawn came, but we did not land. I did however; send a message to Gandalf via paper airplane, telling him I would await him at Minas Tirith. The enemy was looking for a white horse, not a flying carpet.

From this height I could see the river, a gleaming ribbon of silver, winding around the root of white capped mountains. Up here, the sky was a blanket of paling stars. The beacons below glimmered brightly against the white snow of the mountains. Ernie sat squarely in the middle of the carpet, curled in a tight ball.

"What is it?" I asked from my corner of the huge carpet, standing, "you aren't afraid of heights are you?"

"No!" he looked up, indignant, "I'm freezing! Just like at Helms Deep, I couldn't fight in that kind of weather!"

"How can you be cold?" I asked.

"I'm not cold, I'm freezing."

I couldn't say anything to that. I walked along the billowing stretch of carpet to where my staff lay with my quilted purse wrapped around it. I pulled a large, fluffy, black cloak out and tossed it to Ernie. The cloak was wrapped around him in a second but was soon abandoned to flutter down to the real world below, the miniature, hard world. The sun rose, coloring the few clouds like cotton candy and warming the air. Ernie was perfectly comfortable.

The rays of light emitting from the sun struck the little china world below, setting the silver ribbon of the river afire with light and the peaks aglow with golden snow. Ernie stood up cautiously and walked across the carpet. Each step anyone took on it would sink down, like walking through snow. Watching Ernie trudge across the carpet was better than a Charlie Chaplin film.

"How much longer?' he asked.

"The night after tomorrow, I believe." I told him.

"Could we land in a bit and eat breakfast or something? We've been up here all night!"

I looked around," We just passed Edoras. Perhaps in a few minutes. I don't want to be _seen_." We stood in comfortable silence, watching the sun climb into the sky before us. The wind blew the carpet southeast, over the mountains. "_Run_!" I called out (eastward).

The carpet sped over the gilded peaks. In the new morning light, looking down, I could see the color of our transportation. Fuchsia.

"Glory." Ernie breathed.

"The view or the carpet?'

He looked around, "Well I meant the view, but the carpet is . . . odd."

"I swear," I raised my hands, "I did not choose it.' I grinned, "If I had it would be purple."

Ernie dove at me, "Pink beats purple!" (No, Ernie is not gay)

I dodged toward the center of the carpet, "Careful!"

He dove again.

I jumped back . . . a little too far. The edge of the carpet gave way beneath my feet. I just managed to grab it, "Ernie you moron! Get me up!"

He looked down at me, "Admit it, pink beats purple."

"Ernie!"

"Admit it!"

"Fine!"

"Fine what?'

"Pink beats purple!"

Ernie hauled me up. But there is something called gravity that pulls down though others may pull up. No matter how strong Ernie may be, it didn't help that the ground beneath him was moving, that is to say, the carpet was moving. I was caught in a vertical rack. He pulled straining against gravity, but didn't use his legs (After all, that how you're supposed to lift things) because the carpet moved.

"Can't lift!" Ernie groaned.

I screamed, "hold on, Ernie! _Brith golla ten kemen!_" ([carpet unto earth) The carpet dropped like a stone, fast then I could fall. When the wind pushed me above the carpet, I screamed, "_Dar si!_"(halt here) The carpet ceased falling and I floated cross-legged onto it. . . and on top of Ernie. We stared at each other in silence for a few long moments. "Pink beats purple," I announced, "At being the world's ugliest color!"

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**Ernie's Pov**

Nicole grinned, white teeth flashing brilliantly, 'Sorry, I just had to say that." For a moment I stared at her. How could she not notice how much I was trying to show my interest in her? And with her laying on top of me...well, it took all I could to not reach up and kiss her.

She stood up – or tried to, but the carpet had become very hard. There was a dent where I lay, but the rest was rock hard. It had frozen.

"What did you tell it?" I asked, shaking off previous thoughts. If she did notice my advances and chose to do nothing, then I would wait until she was ready.

"To halt" She replied, looking around a little anxiously. "And my staff is gone."

I sat up, 'Gone?'

"Yes, gone, it must have-"

Something hit her on the head.

"Floated up and just landed." I continued her sentence after an awkward silence punctuated by an "ow" on her part.

"Yeah . . ."

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**Kelsey's Pov**

"The road goes ever on and on, down-"

"Mandy!" I groaned, "how many times have you sung that song in the past . . . er . . . hour?"

Mandy grinned, 'Many, many, many, many-" Mandy stopped abruptly, starring behind me.

"Wha-"

"Hey!' Mandy yelped, waving furiously, 'Hey! El . . ." Mandy frowned, thinking as I turned.

"Elladan, Elrohir!" I shouted, waving as well.

"Oh yeah, that's their names!" Mandy slapped her forehead as our friends rode up.

I rolled my eyes, 'What's up guys?" I asked, giggling at their expressions, "What?"

"You're here?" Elrohir asked, "But I thought-"

"Remember," Elladan interrupted as Mandy leapt off her horse, proceeding to give each of them a hug, squealing, "Kelsey did say we'd see them again."

I blinked, "I did?"

"Yeah, you did." Mandy commented, still squeezing Elrohir.

"Oh yeah . . ." I sat up straighter on my horse, "I told you so!"

"Kelsey!" Aragorn called from his group of ranger friends, "noman!" (be good)

"Ada" I whined.

Elladan raised his eyebrows, "Ada? Aragorn?" he guffawed (a suitable term since it looked like he was coughing, throwing up and laughing at the same time).

"Yeah . . .he's kinda like my dad around here." I shrugged again.

Elladan eyed me. "Okay . . ."

"Would you get off!" Elrohir shouted, pushing Mandy away.

"What? You don't like hugs?"

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**_Well so begins the third intallment of our epic adventures! They are epics, we have lists of things and epithets and ll sorts of stuff, but our epic is a whole lot more interesting!_**


	2. When's the Wedding?

**To our readers:**

I have only posted, because of extreme boredom has induced me to post as well as the pleas of the reviewers. Please review this chapter. We accept anonymous.

**To our reviewers:**

Thank you, here's a cookie.

**Theo:** perhaps you'll have something to say this chapter . . . we posted though!

**Queen Islanzadi:** the fourth part is the ending to our plot as opposed to the ending of Tolkien's plot. It's easier to explain once RotK is posted. But with every review and every chapter, you come closer to knowing.

**Iforgotmyname:** you need a name . . . but then we wouldn't know you, would we?

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**Chapter Two**

When's the wedding?

_In which Nickel travels further, Mandy gets revenge on the twins and discover that there are dead people on the Paths of the Dead.

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_

**Nickel's PoV**

"Rûn" I called to the carpet, using my staff and poor grammar to the best of my ability, "duia rûn gwi. Nai brith golla gwai." (East. Flow east wind. Be it that [carpet [is on the wind)

The carpet shook itself like a great wave and set off east, blown by my conjured wind. Gandalf seemed to think that all of this magic usage wasn't particularly wise, but speed seemed more important at the moment. Even if no one else knew what was going on, I still had to do something. I extracted a Quenyan vocabulary book from my bag – the shudders the carpet made at my grammar were making the ride uncomfortable.

"Nicole!" Ernie screamed. Right in my ear. Ow.

I snapped my book shut and shot him a glare, "What?"

"I'm hungry."

I looked at the sun, or rather, lack of one. "Wow."

"We didn't even have breakfast or lunch – which I wouldn't mind so much, except we didn't have dinner last night and-"

My stomach growled, "Okay." I reached for my bag, "What would you like?"

"Those cookie things Aragorn gave us." Ernie answered promptly.

"Lembas?"

"Precisely."

I unwrapped a package of the named way bread and dibbed it out.

Ernie grinned at the sight – and taste – of food. "These are very filling." He announced, "Perfect for hungry people, they should give these to the hungry back home."

"Home." I echoed, "Do you really want to go home?"

"Well, yeah, there's no TV and are no video games or what not in Middle earth."

"But there's clean air and water and magic." I protested, "and trees and simple, good, whole things."

Ernie looked up at the stars, "yeah, but I feel like I'm expected to do something here."

"Well, duh!" I laughed, "You're Melkor!"

Ernie sighed, "Yeah."

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**Mandy's PoV**

"FINALLY!" I shouted, letting go of my horse's reins to cheer. Elladan, therefore, took the liberty of shoving me so I fell face first in a heap of dead uruk-hai. "Hey-Eew!"

"Oh . . . did I do that?" Elladan asked innocently as Kelsey and Elrohir fell off their horses, laughing. I say fell off, though Kelsey would never be so awkward as to actually _fall _off a horse.

"Um . . . yes, I believe you did." I scowled, trying to keep as far as possible from the bodies while still sitting and rubbing the spot on m thigh where someone's armor had bruised me. Eventually, though, I had to crack a smile too, laughing is too contagious.

Legolas rode up to me, smiling at the joke, "Here.' He offered his hand to me.

"No thanks, I think Elladan should help me up since he was rude enough to push me down."

Elladan shrugged, clutching his stomach fro laughter. Chuckling, he reached down and I clutched his hand. And pulled him down as hard as I could so that he fell face first onto the heap of dead things. More laughter erupted from Kelsey and Elrohir as I turned to Legolas, "I'll take your offer now." I held out a hand.

Legolas took it a little warily, "you aren't going to pull me down too are you?"

"Never." I promised, "It's not like I'm on drugs or anything."

"Are you sure?" Kelsey asked as Legolas pulled me up onto my horse still holding my hand, "you certainly have a habit of pulling people down with you."

"Ha-ha." I laughed sarcastically.

Elrohir chose that moment to notice Legolas still had my hand. He whistled, "So when's the wedding?"

"June." Kelsey replied shortly as we approached Helm's Deep.

"Really?" Elladan asked, "It will be so sweet; I remember when they first kissed . . ." his happy little memories were displaced however.

"No." Legolas said, dropping my hand to turn his horse through the gate. Not that he needed to drop my hand.

"Lady Kelsey?" called some kid.

"That's me! That's me!" Kelsey waved in the air. The kid gave her a letter.

"The Lord Haldir _of the elves_ bade me give this to you." He said, clearly in awe of the fact that Kelsey had correspondence with an elf. He obviously hadn't noticed her speciation.

Kelsey opened the letter, and as she read, guiding her horse with her knees, a smile grew on her lips. I reached over and plucked it from her fingers, limp with happiness. Her bubble burst. "Mandy, give me that now." Kelsey threatened, "Or I'll-"

"What's this?" I squinted at the paper, you'd figure elves would have better handwriting, "he says, 'I shall truly miss you, but you are always in my heart and on my mind. Yet only when I see you will I be truly joyful again.' How come you never say that kind of thing to me?" I called after Legolas as Kelsey snatched the letter back.

Elrohir sighed, mockingly, "Aww, would you like to always be in his heart and on his mind?" He asked, sickeningly.

"All right, buddy, YOU"RE GOING DOWN!" I leapt off my horse, knocking Elrohir to the ground and sat on him, while proceeding to tickle the elf. Over the screams of Elrohir, I heard Elladan say something to Kelsey.

"THAT'S IT!" Kelsey shouted and out of the corner of my eye, I saw her leap at Elladan.

Suddenly, hands grabbed me and lifted me up off Elrohir and I saw Aragorn do the same to Kelsey.

"Kelsey, control yourself!" Aragorn shouted over the noise, now what happened?"

"Kelsey got a letter from Haldir, and Elladan started quoting it all." Elrohir wheezed. I kicked him as he sat up.

"A letter from Haldir?" Aragorn asked Kelsey.

She broke free of his grip, and gathered up our horses' reins calmly, "it is nothing, ada." She said softly. Aragorn followed her all the way to the stables, interrogating her until he realized he was supposed to be attempting to beat off Sauron through the Palantir at which point he ran up to some room for his kingly business.

"I say," Gimli began as I turned around to see Halbarad and the dwarf were behind me, "We never have a dull moment with the ladies around. You should have met, the Lady Nicole. Now she was crazy."

* * *

After a few hours at Helm's Deep, during which Kelsey hogged the only bath tub there was, we got back on our horses and rode onward. Even faster. Not that I mind going fast, but the whole sitting on a horse for hours on end was starting to tire me out. I wasn't a Mongol, or a Dunedain for that matter. I was a very dirty teenager in an elf's body who wanted a shower. Obviously some higher being misconstructed this. Elladan had the brilliant idea of dumping a bucket of water on my head as soon as we reached Dunharrow. Elves. The next morning, we were up and about, getting ready to leave. 

"Off to the Paths of the dead! I sang, melodramatically, "What will we do there, Kelsey."

She gave me a look that clearly stated, 'I hate morning people' before replying, "We go see the dead people."

"Wait . . . we're going to see dead people?" I repeated slowly, "Why didn't anyone tell me! I didn't sign up for this!" my shouts brought several of our companions out of their tenty thing.

"Mandy," Kelsey began. "I figured you would assume, Paths of the Dead meant we were going to see dead people."

"I though it was a metaphor." Mandy frowned, "Oh I get it now! I knew AP English was unhealthy."

Kelsey shared a look with the now present Elladan and Elrohir.

"What's AP mean?"

"Torture," I replied happily, "in which one's mind is sucked out through a pipe, refurbished and shoved back in."

"Oh."

* * *

Thankyou, once again to our reveiwers. mandy is unfourtunatly (or fourtunatly) engaged in a time consuing effort to replicat The world of narnia on a stage. I think she's an elf. Competition season is begun and AP is tremendous. see you in several weeks (I may be induced to post sooner (since i check reveiws almost daily)if there were more reveiws. if you reveiw twice, i'll count it upwards.) tra la! 


	3. The Paths of the Dead

**Ok, so we're finally back on track. My peeps, you must review! We love reviewers! Review, dangit! Or I will be very sad. :(**

**Queen Islanzadi: **at least somebody got the hint. thank goodness. you know, even my friends who I see everyday don't reveiw as much as you do, and i can tell them there's a new chapter.

**Gina:** No . . he doesn't . . . but then again, he's barely recognizable anymore. And of course I described AP well, it's not too terribly hard to do! Mais J'adore les cours AP!**_ Gina reviewed twice! Most peole (excepting her wonderful highness mentioned above) don't even review once.  
WHAT IS WITH YOU GUYS? _**

**_Meagan?_**

**

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Chapter Three**

The Paths of the Dead

_Because that's what happens_

**

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Kelsey's PoV**

On the whole, Mandy was taking the Paths better than I thought she would. She had taken to whimpering, her hood so close to her face that she could only see her horse's ears. And staying merely centimeters from Legolas's horse was a plus – I had thought she'd be climbing on him by now. As for me, I kept feeling rushes of cold air blow past my cheeks but when I turned only wisps of smoky mist hung gloomily. It wasn't until I thought I'd try to stab whatever it might be that I found out what it really was.

"Ow!"

"Elladan!' I screamed, leaping at him, whacking him with the ridiculously pink, frilly umbrella I had pulled out of my bag, "you are such a meanie! You are so lucky it was an umbrella and not a dagger!"

"Sorry!" He squeaked, ducking and backing into his twin.

"Hey!" Elrohir snapped.

"Not my fault!"

"Well keep your-"

"Hush!" Aragorn interrupted me and we all fell silent as the lantern brightened a giant chamber. It didn't help that we were surrounded by thousands of pale green, transparent ghosts.

Mandy's whimpers became muffled – glancing over, I saw that she was pressing herself so tightly to Legolas that it was wonder she didn't fall off her horse. Legolas in the meantime, was looking terribly uncomfortable as he aimed his bow at the ghosts. I snickered and was instantly silenced by a cuff to the head by Halbarad. I turned to scowl at him, but caught sight of a ghost pointing a sword at me. I froze, not particularly interested in getting stabbed.

Some ghost began talking, but his voice echoed and it became really hard to hear as Mandy began to mutter under her breath hysterically.

"Why have you-"

"There's no place like home."

"I come to have you fulfill your oath," Aragorn thundered.

"Think of a happy place."

"None but-"

"-Happy Place-"

"-Gondor may-"

"Find a-"

"SHUT UP!" I finally yelled, headache now pounding wildly in my head. Mandy let out a wail and slumped to the ground, beginning to suck her thumb while the guys shot glares at me, "What?"

But the ghosts were all laughing hysterically. Some were rolling on the ground at our feet. It was very uncomfortable, like stepping on warm fish guts when they rolled through your feet. Once the ghosts had calmed down, and I had been put under a restraining order by Elladan and Elrohir, and Mandy had resumed her position on her horse, Aragorn and the head ghost were able to negotiate, with only a few snide snickers and chuckles. We made it out of the Paths as safe as possible. Oddly there was an absence of flying skulls, to Mandy's delight and mine. It meant that we should be on book timeline, on which I was sufficiently more fluent. Once outside, Mandy flung back her cloak and stepped about an inch away from Legolas (a great accomplishment, I assure you).

"I'm free, I'm free!" She cheered, dancing a little. Then her foot caught on a rock and she fell backwards through a ghost. "AAAAEEEE!" she screamed, leaping to her feet. She pulled her cloak around her tightly and leapt into Legolas's arms, shivering violently.

"Aww . . . baby." I crooned, then walked right through a ghost and stopped dead in my tracks. A slimy feeling swept over me and I swayed on the spot, trying NOT to smell the rotting stench that met my nose, "Uh, little help?" I asked faintly before my knees buckled and I fell to the ground.

**

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Nickel's Pov**

We landed just inside the wall surrounding the Pelennor at dawn – Rammas Echor- awaiting Shadowfax and Gandalf. I'd considered going into the city before him, but it occurred to me that such would not be a good idea. As Ernie and I dined on toast with some of the best jam I'd ever had, Shadowfax was upon us.

"You could have waited farther out and slept in a guard house." Gandalf commented mildly.

"We just arrived this morning." I told him, "rather than haste, the scenic route was more to my liking."

"I thought we were in haste." Ernie said through a mouthful of toast.

"Compared to a real scenic tour, yes." I told him, "So what do you propose, Gandalf? I would like to hear what Denethor shall say, but I would rather not be revealed to him yet."

"I think, twit, that it would be best, for none to see you, for you will garner questions whereas Ernie will only be thought to be some warrior of the West."

"Men." I muttered, "Úele!"(behold not)

I followed Gandalf across the Pelennor and into the city as the sun strengthened. I was glad I was invisible, poor Ernie and Pippin were getting quite a lot of stares and didn't seemed to like it. Shadowfax was receiving the spotlight as well, but he basked in it. Silly horse.

The great hall of the citadel was rather foreboding in my mind. I didn't like it one bit. There was too much cold colored stone and not enough life in the décor.

"Hail, Lord and Steward of Minas Tirith, Denethor, son of Ecthelion! I am come with counsel and tidings in this dark hour." Gandalf bowed.

I took a moment in my invisibility to examine one of those statues a little more closely, it looked rather familiar . . . I snapped out of my contemplations as Denethor spoke, "And who is this other one who you have bought before me. He is silent and I like it not. What strength have you that brings you to us, youth?" he asked Ernie.

Ernie looked up, "I'm Ernie the Cuban!" he said brightly.

I groaned. Denethor looked around. "Show yourself, spirit who listens in on secret councils." I crept over to Gandalf and poked him.

"She would rather not be known, my lord." Gandalf said, barely concealing his amusement, "But now, Denethor, I will tell you this: the rule of no realm is mine, neither of Gondor nor any other, great or small. But all worthy things that are in peril as the world now stands, those are in my care. And for my part, I shall not wholly fail of my task, though Gondor should perish, if anything passes through this night that can still grow fair or bear fruit and flower again in days to come. For I also am a steward. Did you not know?" And he swept out, without another word, nearly stepping on me. Pippin rushed after him, but Ernie remained, rather confused.

"Truly, why did Gandalf bring you with him on so long and perilous a journey as that from Rohan?" Denethor asked, "it is not because you are simple, for we have simpletons enough." As Ernie was still trying to get his head around the rather stuffy way the people of Minas Tirith spoke, I decided to intercede.

"He is a great prince, who sees neither the evil, nor the good, but seeks a home in Arda." I took the opportunity of Denethor's confusion to drag Ernie out of the hall. This was getting way too serious for me. Once outside, I turned to Ernie, "Go find Gandalf and stay with him, do not wander off and don't agree to do anything without either Gandalf's approval."

"Where are you going?" Ernie asked a tree.

"Do you honestly think I'm spending the nights with you boys? No, I'm going to find a nice abandoned winter home."

"Bye." Ernie waved at the tree and trudged across the courtyard, gaining looks from all the guards.

**

* * *

Kelsey's PoV**

"WHAT IN ARDA WERE YOU THINKING?" Aragorn bellowed in my ear. I opened my eyes a smidgen and saw Mandy grinning like a Cheshire Cat at me.

"Wow . . . you make me feel smart." She giggled, watching me as I groaned, holding my head in my hands.

"I know it's very hard to do that." I answered sarcastically.

Aragorn continued to look murderous, "On the horse, Kelsey." He demanded.

"Yes, ada" I grumbled. With his help, I swung myself onto the horse and soon the others (minus the ghosts) were mounted as well (assuming they had dismounted).

**

* * *

Nickel's PoV**

As evening drew its curtain over the city, I headed down to the gates, glad of my invisibility. Crowds of soldiers gathered to see the reinforcements from the out lands, fewer that expected perhaps, but still welcome. I was rather late, but managed to see Imrahil come in with seven hundred strong, his gleaming helm like a star in the murky dusk.

I followed the three thousand or so outriders up to the sixth circle, and on up to the citadel with the lords. I had a feeling Gandalf wanted to see me.

The white tree stood out like, well, like the stick of dead wood it was. Gandalf stood beside it.

"I will never understand why they didn't take better care of this thing." I told him, "I mean, its not exactly easy to find a new one."

"Such has been the care of men for this land." Gandalf replied, "the captains and the lords of the outlands meet tonight, it would do you good to hear their news." He gave me a swift glance, or rather the direction he thought I was, "Or perhaps not, you seem to know the outcome better than we ourselves."

I smiled to myself, "Who knows the outcome of anytime save one that has long passed, and even now is questionable. I will not deny that the void, for all its emptiness, holds many answers. Let us hear what they have to say."

I followed Gandalf into the citadel and the hall of kings. The captains and lord stood or sat according to their rank, I suppose. Gandalf was brought a chair, but I was ignored. Then it occurred to me that I was still hidden, how silly of me, "ele" (behold). The servant person bringing Gandalf his chair yelped at my sudden appearance, attracting a lot of attention.

"Hi!" I waved.

Gandalf rushed to my defense before I could get arrested, "This is Mirithil of the West who comes to aide us in these dark times. Yes, Forlong?"

I stared intently at the fat man who had stood up at Gandalf's little speech, "Please excuse my ignorance, Mithrandir, but did you just say this _woman_ came to aide us? Alll the other women and children have left the city for the safety of the countyside. Or does she command an army of looms or legions of thread that willl fight for her and leave her safe at home?"

I sighed, "Forlong of Lossarnach, if looms or thread are of any use, I will bring them forth, but at this moment the book of my aide awaits my writing." I smiled coldly, "Aide of another sort is at my disposal. Have you by any chance heard of Opera?"

Gandalf gave me a look that clearly said, 'no singing'. I shrugged and drew up a chair. Quite literally (A/N: Harry Potter anyone? That is seriously the coolest magic).

A couple of people gasped. Denethor and Gandalf just looked grumpy. Bet Gandalf wished he'd thought of that first. Denethor was angry that I was the voice in his head. What everyone said was really of no importance to me, after all, whenever are politics important? There were two things however worth mentioning about that council. The first being Ernie's allegiance. On this subject, Gandalf and I stubbornly refused to say more than that Ernie would support the destruction of Sauron with al his strength.

The second subject I found important was when Gandalf brought up Kelsey and the fact that, if Rohan arrived in time, the foes of Gondor would be destroyed by her strength. Nobody believed him. That was their problem. By midnight we were dismissed to go to sleep. Unfortunately, I hadn't found a bed yet.

**

* * *

Kelsey's PoV**

"What's supposed to happen?"

I looked over to see Mandy watching me. I had been absorbed in Return of the King for the past four or five days while riding my horse. It wasn't the easiest thing to do, but I happen to multitask well.

"Well . . ." I flipped to the appendices, frowning, "we're supposed to-"

"Halt!"

I stopped my horse and watched as Aragorn dismounted with a few others and headed over some hill. With a look from Mandy, we scrambled off our horses and followed, me flipping my bag over my shoulder. Over the hill, the men were watching a large band of ships grow closer. I scanned the ship, wondering if we'd see a PJ look-a-like but no one seemed to be on any of the ships. I frowned, grabbing a few straight pins out of my bag.

The boats were slowing down and once they were close to the banks, a plank connected one of the boats to the ground. I tensed, but relaxed, grinning as a familier figure stood on the deck, a smile gracing his features.

"Haldir!"

* * *

**Whoo! Long week! My boyfriend cancelled on me for my birthday 'cause he got grounded for a stupid reason, and AP history is burning up any free time I get 'cause Narnia's every single night. Btw, Nickel's right. I'm fufilling my wildest fantasies by acting as an elf onstage. Fun fun. But it's cool, 'cause at least I'll get to act on my birthday, which is a better present than normal. R&R, my pretties!**

**_You heard her, reveiw! And add us to your update alerts, b/c we're rather sporatic _**

**_Yesterday was Mandy's Birthday! Yah! So we're posting for you. and IF you're all good, and send in lovely reveiws, we'll post again soon!_**


	4. Seriously Sleeping In

It's amazing how quickely we're moving through this story. Next two chapters are the battle of Pelannor Feilds, and then we move on to the Black Gate and all the fun stuff afterward . . . like who exactly is Pastrami?

**Reveiwers:**

**Iforgotmyname:** yep, He's back -he just can't keep away from Kelsey, can he? Mandy's in The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, and the extras got to choose what they were and so Mandy got creative and got to be an elf!

**Remember to Feel Real:**just wait till chapter six, Mandy tries to teach Legolas algebra!

**Queen Islanzadi:** Of course you're a wonderful highness, you always reveiw. And you're always the first to review. Now, about The Break Room, it's not supposed to really have a major plot - it's like life, we make a big deal over little things because we don't have any awesome drama.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Four**

Seriously Sleeping In

_In which multiple things happen, but nothing terribly important occurs. _

**

* * *

Nickel's PoV**

I woke up in my little corner of Minas Tirith, a large, well to do house that seemed to have been evacuated rather quickly and recently. I wonder why. It wasn't the sun that woke me as there wasn't really anything worthy of being called a sun, but my body's clock, by which I registered it to be around seven in the morning or so. Disinclined to awaken, I did what any sensible person would do – went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I was a bit disoriented by the lack of timekeeping devices and set out to see what time it was. Up at the citadel, I found Ernie, armed and looking rather foreboding.

"Where have you been?" We asked at the same time.

I grinned, "you first."

"Well, for the past couple of days or so-"

"Wait, days?"

"Yeah, from the day after we arrived until now, all these weirdoes keep asking me what I'd would prefer for armor and where is my army? The lords of the outlands didn't bring their full force, so neither did I. So I've been avoiding them. You?"

"I fell asleep."

"No way, you've been sleeping?"

"Yes, so what's the date?"

"Some guy said it was the fourteenth."

"The fourteenth!" I seriously think my eyes bugged out, "I've been asleep for four days!"

"Weird."

"I'm never going to be able to get to sleep again."

**

* * *

Mandy's PoV**

"Haldir!"

I watched Kelsey run up the plank as fast as her legs could carry her (pretty fast by the way, she's in cross-country) She flung herself into his arms and was promptly swung around in circles. Haldir then set her down and kissed her forehead.

Aragorn proceeded more sedately up to Haldir, "How?" He asked, frowning.

"We – err . . . got bored with sitting around, so some of my drinking mates and I got leave to go help you guys."

Kelsey and I ogled Haldir.

"Really?" Kelsey asked.

"Really, but we had best be going."

And Haldir dragged us all onto the thirty ships, each of which was manned by a single elf and several now freed slaves. Some of the locals were there to and as each Dunedain took control of a ship, we set safely on our way to war, which is really going as far from safety as possible. How ironic.

**

* * *

Nickel's PoV**

I was full of energy that day, which was probably a good thing, considering the number of times I would have died if it weren't for my new vigilance. And not just by orcs either. They hadn't gotten anything more over the wall than a ton of heads and some big rocks. But those rocks burst into flame quite randomly, leaving me rather busy trying to fight off the fires in the lower circles. Finally, it occurred to me that this was a complete waste of my time. I bound the fires to where they were, they continued burning, but soon ran out of fuel. I couldn't get to all the fires though, before Denethor was inspired to hold his annual barbeque a month early. No one thought to invite me though. All night I fought fires, until cries came from the gate. I ran faster than I had run in my life (and believe me when I say that I don't run well, I have no endurance) to the gate, only to find it shattered . . . and Gandalf was nowhere to be found.

**

* * *

Kelsey's PoV**

I was in Haldir's arms, but we were headed for a battle. Besides, I couldn't stay too long with Haldir without Aragorn shooting nasty glares at us. Below deck, however, I ran into him the second morning on my way to fresh air.

"Good morning, My Lady." Haldir greeted me.

"Morning" I answered distractedly.

Haldir raised a brow at me, "Kelsey, you have dark circles under your eyes, have you been sleeping? Is everything all right?"

"Is everything . . . yes, of course. I'm fine." I mumbled, walking past him. Truth was I had been up all night, my nose buried in the book. But the book had changed. Haldir was now present at the boats, minus the comment about drinking buddies. But we – Mandy, Nickel, Allie, me etc – had not appeared. Therefore our ending was not set, and neither was Haldir's. Everything that had happened was there, but what would was strangely absent. The biggest surprise though was that Ernie, named as Melkor was present in the book. Only in snatches, and rarely, but he was there. This was starting to get really weird.

**

* * *

Ernie's PoV**

I fought through the crowds of fleeing soldiers, trying to find Nicole and invite her to the barbecue party I'd seen Denethor leading off – rather bad timing if you ask me, but he was in charge. Screams rent the murky air as I reached the gate and found someone banging on it.

"Who's there?" I called.

One soldier yelled at me to go back up to the citadel.

"Hello?" I asked as the loud knock came again. The knock came a third time, but before I could reply, the gate burst open.

"Hi!" I said, "You know, it's not very polite to break through the gate like that. If you'd given the guy in charge a chance, I'm sure he would have answered.

"Master!" said the Black rider who had so rudely knocked down the old guy's door. He took off his hood and . . . had no head. Sauron has serious issues with his servants.

Suddenly a cock crowed. Shrill and clear he crowed, reckoning nothing of wizardry or war, welcoming only the morning that in the sky far above the shadows of death was coming to dawn.

"Ernie, you idiot!" Nicole flung herself onto me, wooden staff banging against my legs, "Where's Gandalf?"

"I think he went to the barbecue." I looked around at the carnage, "You know . . . Mandy's not going to like this."

"No," Nicole mused, "she won't. We should do something about that."

* * *

This chapter is rather short, but it gets us through the four or so days until the fun begins. After all, we don't want any time distortion or the PPC will be after us. 


	5. Somebody Dies

****

**_wow . . . we're on chapter five. Sadly enough, there's not much left to the stoy from here. we have two more chapters acctually written, but there's not much after that - only three or four more. And then, the sequel which ahs no name . . . we need to work on that. _ **

* * *

Reveiwers:

**Queen Islanzadi:** The PPC is the protectors of the Plot Continueum. Look under our favorite author's and read meekerbeeker. And Yes, you are.

**Meagan:** he doesn't like hugs b/c he's a loser, it's the concept of AP that counts, dead ppl are dead, and I do have a pet ghost - it was playing with the locks on my mom's car, it's just a term for Denethor's insane burning of his kid

**Iforgotmyname:** Well, he doesn't have a head!

**Gina:** Aragorn was yelling at kelsey cuz he was worried about her.

**

* * *

**

**Chapter Five**

Somebody Dies

_In which Kelsey dies. Sorry. _

**

* * *

Nickel's PoV**

It suddenly occurred to me that sitting around at the open gate in the middle of a battle was NOT a good idea. I left Ernie to his own devices since no orc seemed willing to slay him – he had created their species after all – and ran up to find Gandalf. He was heading my direction. Suddenly, a very loud, screaming person covered in fuchsia wool hurled out of the sky.

**

* * *

Mandy's PoV**

I woke up on our second or third day on the boats to find several people exclaiming over something.

"What do you think that is?" Kelsey asked, pointing at a large, square object hurtling towards us. I frowned.

"Um…" The square object landed in front of us. It was a vibrant purple rug, large enough for five or more people. In the center was a note. I reached for the note. The rug jumped as I leaned on it and tried to buck me off, but as I crawled off, the note was still clutched in my hand.

"What's up?" Kelsey asked, peering over my shoulder. I grinned slightly.

"We've got to get on."

"What?" Kelsey was looking at me, bewildered.

"Nickel sent this," I gestured towards the carpet. "She says we can get around the initial fighting and hang out in Minas Tirith if need be." Kelsey frowned and edged towards Haldir.

"No."

"What?"

"I'm not leaving," She said shortly. "I'm…I'm staying to fight." Haldir looked down at her, about to say something that would change her mind.

"Kelsey, I really think—"

"But I want to stay," She interrupted fiercely, "I'd miss out all the fun otherwise."

I turned to Legolas, grabbing his hand.

"Love you," I whispered, kissing him gently on the lips. He pressed his lips against me more firmly, then broke apart and kissed my forehead chastely.

"Be careful," He whispered. I smiled and kissed his lips again, then jumped on the still bucking carpet. I looked back at the note, clutching the ends of the carpet.

"Dwiya gwah. Nie brith gola vee gwah!" I yelled, but the carpet only bucked more. I could hear some chuckles and giggles behind me, and even Legolas was suppressing a grin as he leaned down to my ear and whispered softly.

I could feel the comprehension dawning on my face. "OH! Dwia gwai. Nai brith golla ve gwai!" The carpet froze, then jerked straight, sending me lurching forward. Then it rocketed skywards.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed, clutching on for dear life as my feet flew behind me. The carpet eventually leveled off and sent me shooting towards Minas Tirith. I could see all the fighting underneath me, and, frankly, I was glad I wasn't down there fighting…until a giant beast hurtled towards me.

"OH MY GO—TURN!" I screeched at the carpet. "RIGHT, LEFT, I DON'T CARE, JUST TURN!" I leaned towards the right, thankfully avoiding what looked like the Witch King just in time, but the carpet flipped over, sending me screaming as I dangled hundreds, maybe thousands, of feet above fighting…things.

"FLIP! FLIP YOU DARN THING, FLIP!" I bellowed, swinging dangerously. But the carpet didn't listen to me, and instead increased its pace as it pinpointed its destination—the top of Minas Tirith.

Thankfully, the carpet lowered me onto the plaza, where a certain white wizard sat atop a horse with a certain hobbit, arguing with a certain girl.

**

* * *

Nickel's PoV**

"Hey Nickel!"

"Glad you got my note," I commented, turning back to discover Gandalf had ridden on to the burial tomb. I swore softly, then raced after him, fully aware that Mandy was on my heels.

Ahead, Gandalf had knocked Denethor back onto the pyre. I immediately went to Faramir's side, slapping any fire on him to smother it as Pippin did the same.

"AARRGG!" I glanced up to see Denethor leap off the pyre, completely aflame. Mandy stood close by, her mouth agape.

"Wow…" She said, astonished, as Denethor leapt off the building. "Why didn't Denethor say he could fly?" And with that she took off after him, fully preparing to leap off the building.

"Mandy!" I shrieked, and then let out an ear-piercing whistle. The carpet halted beside me. "Go get her and bring her back here." The carpet whisked off as Mandy jumped, and seconds later I heard a voice screaming, "This is just like magic!"

As Mandy stopped in the carpet beside me, I shoved her off and pulled Faramir on, intent on getting him to the Healing Houses.

"Mandy! Up!" I hit her with my staff. She sat up, grumbling. "Take Faramir to the House of Healing."

"Which would be…where?" She asked. I hit her with my staff again. "Ouch! What?"

I turned to my carpet. "londe." I turned to Mandy. "Jump on."

"What?"

"Jump on!" She leapt onto the carpet frantically right as it prepared to zoom off. The carpet then rocketed towards the houses, with Mandy screaming. I turned to return down to the fight now that the politics were over.

My wayward carpet having (I assumed) dumped Mandy off at the houses of healing, joined me as a reached the gate, just as Imrahil did. Seeing me, he came over to hear council and see what Gandalf had been doing.

"What devilry is this?" well, maybe not for council.

"It's a carpet!"

"I know that, but why is it in the air and not on the floor?"

"A loom may make both bandages and fine clothes, why not a carpet be both foot warmer and steed?"

Imrahil rolled his eye – I was starting to like this guy, "If you go into battle, I do not know whether to feel pity for the enemy or not."

"Gandalf pities the slaves of Sauron, for they have no choice."

"And you?"

"I shall tell you when they are all clean."

"Clean? That may take even longer than it will take to destroy them."

"Then we'd best get started."

And so the forces of Gondor rode out to join the Rohirim. But reinforcements came for the enemy from the river, and just as hope wavered, we saw the black sails on the horizon. Everyone quailed at the sight of the ships, fearing an end to all hopes, well, except for me.

**

* * *

Kelsey's PoV**

I jumped off the deck, flipping in the air to land on some poor orc, breaking his neck. Within a few seconds the orcs had learned to avoid me and send someone smarter. Drat. Southrons, Easterlings, the men of far Harad, they were doomed. I laughed manically and swung my sword at some guy in fuchsia to find . . .

"Kelsey!" Nickel screamed, blocking me, 'Watch who you kill!" She pulled me onto the fucshianess – the same carpet that had rescued Mandy – and we sped off toward one of the _mûmakil_.

I pulled out a sniper (what good were bows and arrows at a time like this?) and shot down the small armies of Haradrim that rallied about them. Nickel busied herself managing the carpet and telling the _mûmakil_ to buck off their riders and be free. We continued in this manner, heading slowly toward Minas Tirith until . . .

"Uh, Kelsey?"

"What!" I yelled, throwing a spear.

"The stabilizer controls . . ."

"In English, Nicole!"

"Sorry, we're going down."

Time seemed to freeze, "WHAT?"

Nickel shrugged, "Jump!"She catapulted onto a siege engine, leaving me on a now bucking carpet.

"Great, Nickel." I jumped after her wishing she'd thought of something else. She was the one who did magic.

**

* * *

Mandy's PoV**

I rushed out the gate to find more orcs that I could count . . . yes, I can count. It took about two seconds for me to decide whether to go back in or hide. Just as I was about to flee to some safe hole where even Nickel's carpet (which was pretty smart) could find me, I heard a deathly scream and it wasn't the Witch King.

"Kelsey!"

**

* * *

Nickel's PoV**

I turned just as I landed on the rather deserted siege engine. Kelsey had jumped after me, but if she had a fault it was her aim from a bucking carpet. She slipped just as I reached out to grab her hand, and fell the fifty feet to the ground.

"Kelsey!" I screamed as hundreds of orcs swarmed around her. That was when they noticed me.

I had no carpet to save me now. Wishing I had some bungee cords to make this easier, I jumps after Kelsey, landing on the pile of orcs, thereby breaking my fall.

"Kelsey!" Aragorn, Haldir and Mandy were running over as fast as they could.

I dropped to Kelsey's side as she lay there, neck broken.

I wiped my eyes on my sleeve. The world had stopped so why was everyone still fighting? The sounds, though deafening, fell on deaf ears. I could see Mandy screaming, but no sound came out. Our friend was gone.

* * *

Sorry, but Kelsey just had to die, plot reasons and all that. Just like with Boromir. Somebody has to die. 


	6. Somebody Lives

**Reviewers:**

Well that was fast . . . I don't think I've ever seen reveiws appear so quickly. That was what . . one day? Maybe I should kill Mandy and Nickel and Ernie off too though we hadn't planned on it. . . .

**Queen Islanzadi:**No, she doesn't - read on to see why. You're Welcome.

**Remember to Feel Real:** I only wish we came up with more of them. This particular twist was Mandy's idea, though I changed the way Kelsey dies to fit with something else.

**Meagan**: I updatede, happy now? (Don't kill me!)

* * *

Everyone can thank Meagan for this chapter being posted so quickly because she threatened to kill me and because she ate all of her sandwich yesterday. (Meagan is a recovering anorexic - not to be confused with anorexia nervosa - the rather less know strain of anorexia called anorexia laborara) **

* * *

Chapter Six**

Somebody Lives

_In which Haldir gets to kiss Kelsey, things are explained and Nickel confuses everyone.

* * *

_

**Kelsey's PoV**

I knew I was in my head, somewhere, dilly-dallying. I wore the same clothes I had for battle, but they felt fresh and clean. The room I was in had a window – I ventured toward it. Below I could see myself, still on the ground. Mandy was screaming and nickel's head was buried in her hands. And Haldir. Haldir was cradling my torso, his lips against my head. The he leapt up, shouting and fighting worse than ever.

There was a sharp tug at my heartstrings, watching him. With an uncharacteristically unthought out plan, I climbed onto the window sill, "I'm coming guys!"

**

* * *

Mandy's PoV**

"Kelsey! Kelsey, wake up!" I couldn't give up, not on my friend. Yet there was no heartbeat . . . no, there must be a mistake, "Kelsey!" with no reply forthcoming, I broke down, pulling my knees to my chest. Tears streaked down my face. Nickel and I gazed at each other, both looking equally lost, when someone coughed.

Nickel wiped her eyes, "Is everyone ok?" she asked, voice raspy. There was another cough, spluttering this time, and Nickel and I looked down.

Kelsey looked up at us with rather lively eyes. She coughed again as Nickel and I rained hugs on her.

"Kelsey!" We broke apart from Kelsey fight as Haldir threw himself at her. Then, without a second thought, he kissed her right on the lips.

"Never scare me like that again." Haldir demanded, face white, "We thought you were dead!"

"Never kiss me again and I'll comply." Kelsey retorted weakly.

**

* * *

Nickel's PoV**

After Kelsey revived, the enemy was made short work of and within an hour we approached minas Tirith, unharmed except Kelsey's . . . wound . . . and a rather nasty cut on Mandy's nose – though I think that was self inflicted. As we approached, we didn't see Aragorn, Imrahil or Eomer who where presumably in the city. Haldir had insisted on carrying Kelsey, though she was perfectly fine and this slowed us because she kept wanting to stop and look at something or other. We passed through the broken gate and up to the remains of my house. Inside, I sent Haldir upstairs and helped Kelsey and Mandy settle in their own rooms. So I too fell asleep – despite my long rest earlier, it had been a long and stressful day.

**

* * *

Kelsey's PoV**

I was awoken from my slumber by a loud knock. Blearily I blinked sleep from my eyes, blinded by the bright sunlight.

"Who is it?' I called.

"Nickel!" came the reply, "Gandalf came by, he wants us to come to a council with the lordly folks."

I lurched out of bed and opened the door, "Now?" I asked, 'Is he crazy?'

She shrugged, "get Mandy up. Haldir's still sleeping – he wasn't invited frankly I don't think we would be either if it weren't for . . . Ernie, you know."

"Ah."

"Eugh, your breath _smells_, go brush your teeth!"

I shut the door in her face.

Within the hour, we had joined Gandalf, Aragorn, Eomer, Imrahil, Elladan and Elrohir. Mandy looked around hopefully for Legolas before I explained to her that he was visiting Merry.

"But he's there in the Movies!'

"Yes, Amanda, but this is like the _books_, B-O-O-K-S."

She pouted in her chair now as Gandalf explained the risks of sitting at Minas Tirith versus attacking now . . .

**

* * *

Mandy's PoV**

After the council (the only contribution we made being whether or not to mention Ernie to Sauron), the three of us spent the two days we had before leaving to catch up on each other. Kelsey told us about what death was like. It was hard to imagine she really was dead. I couldn't believe it. Nicole was, however, open to persuasion.

"It could be a bit like when Gandalf died . . ." she mused, "I wouldn't find it surprising, after all, we are like him, being Ainor and all." Nickel went on to finally explain the whole, "Ernie is Melkor" thing, "Someone had to watch over him, he's that powerful, and so it would be the three of us."

"So why did we come back?" Kelsey asked, "We were watching him . . . subconsciously, I suppose."

"This is all speculation," Nicole said, "but I think it was this, Mandy and I's chemistry accident threw us out of the world Ernie had created in the void, leaving us free to return to Arda. Do you honestly think our souls or whatnot _like_ being out in the void? So we came back, leaving the bonds on the four of us broken. So you and then Ernie came to Arda."

"What about Allie and Meagan and everyone else?" I asked, sorely confused, "why did they come and go?"

Nickel looked rather surprised, "Meagan was here?"

"Yeah, on your birthday, while you were . . . gone."

Nickel crinkled her nose, and then turned to Kelsey, "What do you think?"

"Well, I'm not sure, but I suppose that perhaps they just got kind of sucked into the whirlpool."

"That makes sense, and because they don't belong, they returned!" I exclaimed, feeling smart, and then I had a bad thought, "What if Tom shows up?"

Nickel rolled her eyes, but Kelsey looked more concerned, "I suppose we could-"

"Your boyfriend won't show up." Nickel cut in, "No one's shown up for weeks, the last people were Gina and Paco; I think it's closed."

I sighed with relief. "Well then, let's go see Merry."

**

* * *

Nickel's PoV**

"so you say that it's okay to kill off and sacrifice a thousand people, so long as a ruler remains powerful?"

"No, no, Imrahil," I admonished, aggravated beyond belief, "You're completely missing the point! Machiavelli explained it very well in The Prince. The ends justify the means. It's like . . . like what we're doing right now! Our armies and people may be destroyed, all of Gondor laid bare, but as long as Sauron is defeated, it doesn't matter that we're dead, so long as he's gone!" I had been trying to explain to Imrahil how philosophy worked while we rode toward Mordor and doom.

"So it's self sacrifice?" Imrahil asked, sorely confused.

"Not always." I fished for an example, "Okay, say you've made a promise, but you find out later that you promise will cost you all you have, do you keep your promise or drop your integrity and claim you never made the promise?"

"I have a feeling you want me to say the latter." Imrahil sighed, "But I have to say that we should not compromise our integrity."

"That's not the point! The point is you get what you want and to Mordor with the how and why!"

"Is Nickel trying to explain philosophy to you, Imrahil?" Kelsey asked, turning on her horse, "Just smile and nod."

"Kelsey!"

"If you want to make someone's head hurt, Nicole, give Mandy a factoring problem and leave the rest of us alone."

"But I already did that!'

"Really? How'd she do?"

I glanced at Mandy, "She's trying to teach Legolas algebra so he can do it for her."

"There's something wrong with that." Kelsey mused sarcastically, "But I just _can't_ imagine what it could be. . ."

Imrahil looked confused, "What's Algebra?"

Kelsey and I shared a look, "You don't want to know."

* * *

Anyone who hasn't read Machiavelli's The Prince, seriously should, at least an excerpt, he has an _amazing_ writing style. 

Legolas plus Algebra . . . that would be interesting. hehe


	7. Political Theory 101

**Reveiwers:**

**meagan:** she came backb/c she can't stay dead (nobody but Boromir can do that) and she doesn't want Haldir to kiss her b/c it's Klc!

**layla the cat/gina:** well yeah, but he didn't quite get the implications of it.

**lettres d'amour:** a nouvelle reveiwer! yah! have a bonbon!

**Remember to Feel Real:** what did you figure out?

**Queen Islanzadi:** At your command. Of course we couldn't let her die! I'm surprise everyone believed it. :)

* * *

Well, this may be the lastish chapter for longer than the past few - this is the last chapter we've written, so . . . yeah . . . please be patient. 

**

* * *

Chapter Seven**

Political Theory 101

_In which Legolas is nearly bonked, The Mouth of Sauron has a lesson in political theory, and Melkor gets mad. _

**Mandy's PoV**

"The King Elessar is come! Let all leave this land or yield them up!" Some herald called out for the third time today.

Of course there was no answer. I giggled and looked at Legolas. He was looking up, with his mouth slightly open. I followed his gaze to see a Nazgul above us.

"Polly wanna cracker?" I cackled.

"You two look like Ned waiting for seagulls." Nicole teased, "We're a bit far from the bay."

I shut my mouth quickly, but Legolas – completely clueless of the seagull comment's meaning looked around at us with an expression rather like Gina's cats – that is to say, smugly content.

"Seagulls are pretty." He sighed.

The whole company, even Aragorn, stared at him.

"Wow." Nicole said slowly, 'That's lovely."

"Isn't it?" Legolas asked in a slightly dreamy manner.

"Nicole, did you drug him?" I asked.

"No!" Nicole looked shocked, "He's just thinking – obviously it's difficult for him."

"So he's alright?"

"Well . . . I don't know. He looks like he could use a good bonk on the head." She raised a stick suggestively.

"No thanks." Legolas snapped back to himself at the impending bonk.

"Halt!" Came a call. So we did. We had just ended our seventh day of Marching and tomorrow we would fight – according to the random guy I'd asked.

**Kelsey's PoV**

I rolled over and got up. It was past midnight and I should be sleeping, but I couldn't I got up and walked to the edge of our camp, by one of the great, glowing fires.

"It's eerie, isn't it?" Nicole asked, following me.

"Yeah." Ernie walked over, 'I'm scared someone will expect me to do something I don't know how to do."

"I'm just scared we're all going to die." Mandy muttered, squeezing Nickel tightly.

Nickel struggled a moment, turning rather blueish, before escaping Mandy's clutches, "I have an idea, guys. Mandy, tell Kelsey and Ernie the results of your science project back at helm's deep . . ."

**Nickel's PoV**

We woke up early and began to arrange ourselves on the two hills on the plain. The place stank – Sauron obviously wasn't the reduce, reuse and recycle type. Kelsey ran to Aragorn and Gandalf with our work from last night, and getting approval (She insisted). When everyone else was in order, Legolas, Gimli, Pippin, Aragorn, Elrohir, Elladan, Gandalf, Imrahil, Ernie and us girls all rode up toward the gate.

"Come forth!" Aragorn yelled, "let the lord of the Black Land come forth! Justice shall be done upon him . . ."

"I thought Sauron didn't have a body." Ernie whispered to me.

"Shhh . . ." Everything was silent as Aragorn finished.

And then the mouth of Sauron came forth, 'Is there anyone here in this rout with the authority to treat with me?" He asked, rudely.

I laughed.

**Ernie's PoV**

"There is." Nickel told the Mouth of Sauron, "We have complaints against your master in regard to his political actions." She took a deep breath, "Firstly, his destruction of certain groves of historical trees by the work of that idiot Sauruman. This act causes a great danger to the delicate balance of the environment."

The mouth of Sauron, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, was taking notes.

Nicole continued, "In compensation for this loss and greiviance, we request that Sauron bequeath this land as the Mordor Concession so that we might make said land into a national park."

Kelsey took up the complaints, "Sauron has kept slaves in violation of all common moral codes and standards. This practice is ungodly and endangers one's state with controversy and strife. It is therefore our request that all of Sauron's slaves be set free, given property, jobs and voting rights."

Mandy continued to the next complaint we had planned, "Sauron's mistreatment of his slaves has caused great enmity between their race and our own respective races. There is no difference between the free people and the orcs save a severe lack of hygiene. This has been discovered through scientific research and so we request that Sauron provide his slaves – who will be freed – with hygienic products – soap, shampoo and clean bathing facilities. These things we request for the betterment of the world."

Then Gandalf butted in with the real reason we were here. I glanced at Mandy and Nicole, confused. I was supposed to talk next. Grrr.

**Kelsey's PoV**

I glanced at Ernie nervously. He looked mad. Gandalf didn't want Ernie revealed to Sauron just yet, but I hadn't had a chance to tell the others. Thank Eru Gandalf stepped in. As the others bandied words, I took the remaining moments to check my weapons and say a prayer of safe keeping. Eru help us.

And then there was battle.

We retreated quickly to the hills, which bristled with spears and other sharp pointy objects. I drew my sword and unhooked the sheath which had this had metal bit on the end that made it a great weapon to know orcs out.

"Morez!" Nickel yelled by my side.

"What does that mean?" I asked her, shooting distant orcs in their faces with straight pins from a pistol-like contraption.

"Die!" She yelled, killing a troll over by the other hill using a blast of light from her staff, "I love how I can use French with this thing!"

I rolled my eyes and concentrated on the battle. Suddenly, I heard a scream of pain from behind me.

"MANDY!" Nickel and I yelled, turning to look for her.

Suddenly, I felt as if a sword had slashed me through my middle (believe me, it hurts). I looked around, clutching my stomach, looking for the orc who'd done it. There weren't any. I saw Nickel crumple to the ground and suddenly I understood. . . sort of.

**Haldir's PoV**

"MANDY!" I turned to see Mandy crumple to the ground, Nicole and Kelsey running toward her. Suddenly, Nicole and then Kelsey bent over as if they had been wounded, though no orc had yet crossed the pools of filth and all the trolls were at the other hill. They collapsed, and I was running toward them.

"_Elbereth, le nallon sí di'nguruthos!_" [Ellbereth, to thee I cry from beneath death-horror!. This was too much. Kelsey couldn't die again - what if this time, she didn't come back? Before my eyes, her body, as well as that of Nicole disappeared.

**Nickel's PoV**

"_A Elbereth Gilthoniel_

_Silivren penna míriel_

_O menel aglar elenath!_

_Na-chaered palan-díriel_

_O galadhremmin ennorath_

_Fanuilos le linnathon _

_Nef aear, si nef aearon !_" Someone was singing.

* * *

I slowly opened my eyes to see white mist. Kelsey had described death pretty accurately, so I couldn't say this was death, though maybe it changed. The mist parted to reveal Kelsey and Mandy lying next to me on the – well I guess I could call it a floor. It was like standing on a piece of glass that is so clear, you can't see it - except, I couldn't feel any glass. 

I looked down to see the battle raging below us. I could see the mist out of the corner of my eye as a fast moving cloud – so we couldn't be dead exactly. I could see everything clearly, though it was far away. Even if I didn't focus on one thing or another, I saw both the big picture and all the tiny details. It soon gave me a headache, having that sort of vision, so I decided to look around.

It was at this moment that I noticed Melkor was with us. I'm not sure if he had always been there or if he had just appeared. Looking down, I realized Ernie was not anywhere in the battle, and neither were we.

"Nicole." Melkor smiled, Could you explain to me why we have returned to the void just as I was about to regain all?"

Erm . . . well this was bad. "I have no idea." I told him.

"YOU BROUGHT ME BACK HERE! I WILL NOT TAKE IT ANY LONGER! SET ME FREE!"

"This sucks." Mandy muttered next to me, "Could you stop screaming, Melkor and act like a grown up?"

Kelsey sat up, "None of us wants to be here anymore than you do, Melkor, but since you refused to behave yourself, we're stuck babysitting you, so shush."

Melkor went to sulk in a corner. I glanced down at the battle below us – actually, it was kind of over.

"This is annoying." A nasally voice muttered angrily, "I knew that ring idea was stupid, but did I listen to myself – no." I looked around.

"Hi, Sauron." Melkor said angrily, glaring at his former servant.

"Hi." Sauron waved nervously and was then force to run for his – well, I'd say life, but none of us were exactly alive in the normal sense.

"Now what?" I asked Kelsey and Mandy.

"We can go back down, if you like." Mandy suggested, Melkor's too busy to follow us right now."

"Let's go then." Kelsey said, standing up, "Iâ, auta!" [void, pass

And we were falling, down, down to the earth below us. We landed without harm upon the road and started to walk in the general direction of Minas Tirith. We were quiet for a while.

* * *

"Who goes there?" Came a shout and we were surrounded by gaurds. 

"It's the ladies that went with the army!" A boy cried out, excited beyond belief.

"What day is it?" I asked them.

They looked rather confused at this question, but answered, "It is the twenty-first day of the New Year!" (Fifteenth of April by shire reckoning)

Kelsey, Mandy and I glanced at each other. I shrugged, "Time runs differently there, I suppose. It's like Lorien."

The Guards led us to where everyone was packing up and preparing to return to Minas Tirith – much slower this time.

"Mandy!" Legolas came running the moment we entered the camp, Haldir at his heals, calling Kelsey's name. As they were embraced by their respective elves, I searched for Gandalf – there was something I had to tell him.

* * *

Everyone dies. Mwahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's like Hamlet!

I love killing people. of course, our fanfic has this problem that nobody stays dead very long. . . .yeah.

**remeber to reveiw. Our sale is not over yet. You have one month to apply reveiw now! (See our profile for all details)**

**V V REVEIW V V**


	8. Quadratic Formula

**Reveiwers:**

**Remember to Feel Real:** see, we havn't figured that out yet exactly. Mandy had this idea with something about more jewelry, but that got ditched, and before that, when she came up with us all dying just now, we sort of came back as spirits, but still had separate bodies. I think of them as being more or less one and the same. (Bodies and spirits, I mean, not jewelry and dead ppl)

**Queen Islanzadi:** I'm trying to get more people for the tours - you already signed up. There are only three people right now. :(

**Gina:** I don't see how it was weird, but then again - as Haldir points out . . . wait that's next chapter. Anyways, Only I understand what I say.

**Meagan:** Ned from the dead Bob show. What song do you want? Did I put French in there? I wouldn't know.

**

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**

**Disclaimer:** I actually have to do one of these this chapter. We do not own the tale Legolas shall tell – Nickel paraphrased it from The Simarillion. If you actually care what edition/version, send us a review or message asking and we will tell you next chapter.

**

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Chapter Eight**

Quadradic Formula

_In which Nicole goes insane (not that she wasn't already), Legolas sings something unexpected and tells the story of Thingol and Melian the Maiar_

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Kelsey's PoV**

We rode slowly, to account for the injured and our tiredness. Mandy, Nicole and I all found long, white scars on our stomachs that morning as we dressed, and decided it would be best not to tell the others what had happened. We did, however, inform everyone that Melkor and Sauron were sorting out their issues in the void and that was where we'd been.

Haldir insisted on riding beside me – a measure I took kindly to, appreciating his thoughtfulness – and, though we did not speak that morning, by afternoon, I decided to break the silence.

"What's wrong, Haldir?"

"Oh, nothing, you've just been very quiet and it worries me. Especially since . . ." He subsided into silence.

"Don't worry, Haldir." I told him, "I'll be fine." And I spurred my horse to where Aragorn and the Hobbits were riding.

"Hello, Lady!" Sam said, "It sure has been awhile. Did you know that Nicole can do magic now? It's just like I always thought Gandalf did, back in the Shire before all these adventures."

I smiled and looked around for Nicole.

"Look up." Frodo advised.

I did.

"SEAGULLS!" Nicole screamed, dropping water balloons on us from her perch atop a new, even brighter fuchsia carpet, "SEAGULLS, LEGGY!"

Legolas, who rode just behind me with Mandy and Gimli on either side of him, cowered.

I giggled, "She's still crazy, though, Sam. Never forget that."

Frodo smiled weakly, "What do you think they'll say in the stories now, Sam? Frodo the nine fingered and Samwise Gamgee, chased by the crazy lady on a bright . . . carpet."

"I think they'll put her in a different story, Master Frodo, if you get my meaning."

"Mwahahahaha!!!" Nicole flew off.

"Someone should get her off that thing." Imrahil commented dryly.

"Don't look at me." Gandalf grumbled, "I certainly didn't give her that idea."

"X equals negative B,

Plus or minus the square root,

Of B squared minus four A, C,

All over two A!"

I looked around for the algebra crazed singer, "Legolas? Are you _singing_ the quadratic function?"

"He thinks it drives Nicole away." Mandy told me, "I've tried to tell him that the only way to shut her up is to poke her, but he just can't mange it."

"Poor Legolas." I turned back to Imrahil, "You know, if you did manage to get Nicole away from her insane devices, you'd have her screaming and running in random polygons."

"And if she were contained?" Imrahil seemed to think there must be some way to understand Nickel's mind.

"If you could – theoretically – keep her from screaming and running around . . . nope, it's not possible."

"Oh."

"So there is no way to make her sane?" Frodo asked, "How sad."

"Sad?" Gandalf asked, "I suppose, but it is insanity that kept a great evil at bay."

"When was this?" I asked.

"Why do you think Morgoth did not escape the void before? He could have escaped, but he was much too busy trying to not be driven insane."

"That makes sense," Sam said, "But isn't Morgoth gone? He's from the old stories and has been destroyed, hasn't he? Do we have to go and oppose him as well? Mr. Frodo's deserved a nice rest, if you ask me, so I hope someone else deals with it this time."

"Don't worry, Sam." I told him before proceeding to tell him all about our adventures. He wasn't quite as impressed as I'd hoped, though he did ooh and aah at the appropriate points.

**

* * *

Mandy's PoV**

"Tell me about your home, Legolas." I asked him.

"Mirkwood? Oh, you wouldn't like it."

"Why not?"

"There are huge spiders in those woods and running through to the south is a stream that – if you drink of it – you will fall into a deep sleep and forget much of what you know."

"That doesn't sound very pleasant."

"It isn't." Legolas was silent for a while.

"But surely you guys must like it or you wouldn't still live there."

"There is a great evil in the southern portions of our woods."

"Then _why_ on earth are you still there."

"We live in the Northern areas of Mirkwood in caverns like those of Thingol of old."

"Aah . . . who was that?"

"He was a Teleri king who fell in love with the Maiar Melian in the first age and was the father of Lúthien."

"How did he meet her?"

"Meet who?"

"Melian."

"Well, would you like me to tell it to you?"

"Yes, Legolas."

"Melian was one of the Maia – the race of the Valar. She lived in the home of Lórien, and was the most beautiful, wise, and skilled in songs of enchantment. She was kin to Yavanna – the giver of fruits – and, at the time that the elves came into being, she came to Arda and filled its silence with the sounds of birds."

"So it's her fault that that stupid catbird woke me up every morning last year!" I exclaimed . . . sorry."

"Now the elves, when awakened, heard of the great light of the two trees and decided to go west and dwell in Valinor as was many of the Valar's wishes. So, as their journey to the west came to an end, the Teleri – the last of the elves to depart at that time – rested in East Beleriand. And Elwë, there lord who was the same as Thingol – would wander those woods and seek his friends among the Noldor. It happened, that one night he was alone in the starlit wood of Nan Elmoth and there, he heard the sound of nightingales – the favorite bird of Melian who had taught them their song.

'Then, it was as if a spell had fallen upon him and he went forth, hearing the song of Melian in his mind until he came to the glade where she stood. Filled with love, he took her hand and they stood there – years beyond count with out speaking a word. And his people – though they sought him, could not find him, so Olwë – his brother – took up the mantle of kingship and they departed over the sea. But Thingol and Melian became the rulers of the Sindar and the power of East Beleriand in their home of Menegroth – the thousand caves in Doriath. And of them was born the fairest child of Illuvatar that has and ever will be seen – Lúthien Tinuviel." Legolas ended his story as we halted.

"That's it?" I asked him, "He just saw her and forgot everything?"

"That is the story." Aragorn answered my question, "It is a beautiful tale, Legolas, is it not." The two of them began to fight an eyebrow battle.

"I think it's a wonderful story – almost as good as that of Beren the one handed." Sam punched the air.

"We are really all a part of that story, aren't we?" Frodo mused, "All of their adventures melt into ours, so it's really all one long story."

"It's not a story unless it's interesting." Nicole landed with her carpet, "Otherwise it's history."

"History is interesting!" Kelsey protested

"No, if history is interesting, then it is a story."

"Whatever." Eomer muttered.

The three of us glanced at each other as Aragorn and Legolas finished their eyebrow war.

"Did he just say 'whatever' or is that just me?" I asked.

"He did."

"Weird."

* * *

I heart Melian. She taught Galadriel how to make Lembas. I heart Lembas.

Happy Belated Saint Nicholas Day (December 6th)

-Nickel


	9. Story Time!

**A/N**

Unfortunatly, I don't have the next chapter anywhere near written, but hopefully it will be created and posted by christmastime. Please be patient. If you haven't, read our other stories. Apply for our tours. Write something. Study. Work on you splits. Whatever. We will be back. (And in less than three months, I promise.) **

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Reveiws: 

**Gina:** for telling a story or trying to understand Algebra?

**L d'A:** there are several versions, I think. the one Legolas sings is the pop goes the weasel one, though.

**Queen Islanzadi: **the water balloons? What was so awesome? (Besides the general fact that Nicole is always awesome) And Just for you, I updated the break room with a Glorfindel happy chappie!

**Meagan:** Last question first, NOW! Melian taught Galadriel how to make Lembas, yes. It's leggy b/c she's making fun of him. I have no idea how many more ch - not too many more that five, I should think. the next book should be about . . .. I have no idea. Random polygons are cool!

**

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**Author's Note:** I would like everyone to know that Nickel's tale is in fact a true story and one of my favorite. Written by me, (of course) it is the story of Mandy's life. Sort of.**

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Chapter 9**

Story Time

_In which Nickel tells a story, Eomer acts weird, and they finally arrive at Minas Tirith.

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_

**Nickel's PoV**

"I'm bored."

"Does the world have to know that, Nickel?" Kelsey asked from her horse where she sat, hair blowing romantically in a nonexistent wind. I suspect hairspray.

"Yes!" I announced, standing up unsteadily, "The world must understand my moods and whims!"

"Like that's possible." Haldir muttered.

"What did you say, Scurvey Onion?"

Legolas did an eyebrow thing.

"Just that you are impossible to understand." Haldir replied boldly. (I saw those knees shaking! His horse was walking funny from it.)

"I am perfectly understandable." I corrected him, "You are the one with no comprehension."

"Nickel, nobody understands you." Mandy told me, "That didn't even make sense."

"Well then," I considered the issue, "Somebody must alleviate my boredom so I need not announce it."

"But-" Mandy looked confused.

"Tell us a story, Haldir, or she'll start spouting poetry!" Kelsey hastily interjected.

"Do I have to?" He whined.

I grinned evilly, "Sonnet forty-two:

_That thou hast her, it is not all my grief,_

_And yet it may be said I loved her dearly;_

_That she hath thee, is of my wailing-"_

"Chief of the Noldor in the ancient city of Gondolin, the hidden rock was Turgon and it is the story of the building of that place which I shall tell." Haldir interrupted me, "It is said, that by the guidance of Ulmo, Turgon found the hidden vale of Tumladen and lay east of the upper waters of Sirion, in a ring of mountains tall and sheer and no living thing came there save the eagles of Thorondor."

"Erm . . . excuse me, but _who_ are all these people and places?" Mandy asked Haldir, "I've never hearn of Seereon or Turgon and I didn't know Elmo lived in Middle Earth."

I groaned, "Mandy, it's Ulmo, not Elmo."

"Ulmo is the Vala of the waters." Kelsey explained patiently, "Turgon was an elf lord and The Sirion was a river in Beleriand which sunk into the ocean at the end of the first age."

"Oh." Mandy stared at us, "how do you know that?"

"We've read the Simarillion, Mandy." I said slowly, "Which you, obviously, have not."

"I tried to read it!" She protested, "But it didn't make any sense."

"That's why we reread things, Mandy." Kelsey whacked Mandy with her reins.

"Hey!"

"Would everyone please listen." Haldir looked like a kid coming home with his A+ story. It was so cute.

We all fell silent . . . well, except for me.

"Tell us a happy story, Haldir, Gondolin is sad."

"Then why don't you tell the story?"

"Because Kelsey wanted you to. But I will tell a story, and it will rock your socks."

"Just as long as there is no opera in it." Legolas pleaded.

"Once upon a time-"

"Why does it have to start that way?" Imrahil asked.

"BECAUSE I'M TELLLING THE FREAKIN STORY!" I yelled, "Anyways, once upon a time . . . okay, drop the ending . . . or beginning . . . or-"

"Get on with it!" Eomer sighed.

"There once was a little girl named Marie. She was a happy child until she got into sixth grade. That year, she went out with a guy named James Bond (this is not a coincidence)-"

"How is that a coincidence?" Sam asked.

"Her best friend, Stephanie, however, hated Bond's guts. Bond took this as an insult and took it out on Marie by leaving her for stupid exhibitions to England. (Not that we have anything against the English, just the fake English)"

"Where's England?" Frodo asked.

"WOULD YOU PEOPLE STOP INTERUPTING!" I screamed, "Eventually, Marie decided she had had enough and dumped Bond. He sought revenge. The End."

"That's a lame story." Mandy said, turning pink.

"Of course it is, it's your life's story."

"Then there has to be more to it." Legolas eagerly inquired.

"Of course." I replied, "She is after all, still alive."

"Is it a better story?" Eomer asked, genuinely interested (He's the soap opera type.)

"You'll see." I cleared my throat, "The Sequel!"

"That would mean it's the next part." Mandy said, proud that she knew what sequel meant.

"James Bond" I interrupted loudly, "sent the evil Goth Monster after Marie and her naive friends. The Goth Monster revealed evil scenes of dark and destructive powers to the innocent children."

"What's the Goth monster?" Sam asked.

"Sh." Eomer shushed him and leaned forward, "This is gripping."

I giggled, "Marie made a great and powerful wish on a full moon (and barely escaped the evil werewolves of Bond, but that's another story) to her faery friend and other self from an alternate universe, Lily. Lily ascended from the telephone-"

"What's a-"

"STOP INTERUPTING!" Eomer whacked the unfortunate Legolas.

I continued, still grinning, "-whilst Marie awaited a call from knight loser brain, Sir Robin of La Santa Antoni who was his patron and true love though Marie didn't know this (but that too is another story.) Lily raised her magic baton and sent the Goth monster to her land's prison, Alcatraz. But trouble resided still. The End"

"How is it the end?" Eomer cried out, "There is still drama to be told!"

"Calm down, Eomer!" Kelsey patted his back, "There's always another sequel."

"Then tell us, Lady, Nicole." He looked kind of desperate, so I, warming to my task, began again.

"Knight loser brain, Sir Robin of La Santa Antoni who was his patron and true love though Marie didn't know this (but that too is another story) decided just watching Marie sing and dance with her sisters at the drama department wasn't enough. He struck where she was most vulnerable, dispelling Stephanie, her protector, lady of the kitchen with a vengeance (which happens to be a breed of rainstorm)."

"Wait . . . rainstorm?" Haldir received a whack this time.

"Knight loser brain, Sir Robin of La Santa Antoni who was his patron and true love though Marie didn't know this (but that too is another story) then kidnapped Marie and took her to his castle Schliterbahn of the thousand slides (Knight loser brain, Sir Robin of La Santa Antoni who was his patron and true love though Marie didn't know this (but that too is another story.) loved to slide down water slides and sit in his billion hot tubs.)"

"That's confusing." Sam scratched his head and ducked to avoid a blow from Eomer.

"Marie, using her magic power of the girlfriend, dumped knight loser brain, Sir Robin of La Santa Antoni who was his patron and true love though Marie didn't know this (but that too is another story.) and sent him, with the assistance of Lily to Alcatraz. The End."

"Now you can talk." Eomer sat back on his horse.

"Could you explain the "Power of the Girlfriend" thing?" Elrohir asked, "That sounds a lot like Mandy dumping people off of their horses and into piles of dead orcs."

"And what is with Knight loser brain, Sir – whatever his name is?" Elladan asked, "his name is way too long."

"Well, there's more to it now." I told them, "The final sequel."

"Another one?" Eomer looked as if Christmas had come early . . . or as if he'd just discovered Christmas.

"Now where was I?" I mused, "Oh yes, Marie had just dumped Sir what's-his-face."

"Good for her." Kelsey cheered.

"Marie, grieving at the unfairness of the world, died - mentally, at least."

"What's so unfair?" Haldir ducked.

"Her boyfriend was a loser." Kelsey whispered, narrowly avoiding Eomer.

"She wandered along penguin infested hallways and tripped down a flight of stairs. The Prince Not-mentioned-before-this-part caught Marie in her cluelessness." I began to dramatize every word, "A drop of Lily's perfume (which happened to be made with the drug on Cupid's arrows)"

"Who's Cupid?" Legolas asked, getting whacked again. He just doesn't know how to duck.

"-dropped onto Marie from the ceiling and bounced onto Prince Not-mentioned-before-this-part, ensuring their happiness for the rest of eternity (which is good because they both accidentally drank an immortalizing energy drink Lily left lying around)."

"She's not a very responsible faery." Sam commented, ducking again.

"The End!" I finished dramatically, dropping into my splits, atop my carpet, "The Happy Ending of all endings!"

"That looks painful." Imrahil shielded his eyes.

"Wanna try it?" I asked.

"Nickel, be normal!" Kelsey sighed.

**_

* * *

_Mandy's PoV**

"The city is in sight!" some herald guy yelled, "We shall arrive by nightfall."

"Please stow away all overhead luggage and fasten your seatbelts." I muttered to Legolas, who didn't get the joke, having never ridden an airplane.

At the gate of the white city stood Faramir, ready to welcome the king and hand over his keys and all that good stuff. As Faramir and all of Aragorn's people knelt before him, I heard Kelsey gaping and gawking with pride. Now who's the parental unit.

"Isn't it sweet? She sighed, "He's going to be a wonderful king, I just know it."

"You also read the books, Kelsey." Nicole pointed out, "It's not that hard to see that he'll be a good king."

Kelsey flapped her hand for silence.

"Oh good, it's over, I'm ready for bed." Nicole pulled Kelsey and I onto the carpet and flew off toward our stolen house. Except, it was already taken.

"I don't care if you're elves, or men of Numenor, or legends sprung from the sea!" Shouted the old man as his wife beat us back with a broom, "You're not taking over my house!"

"Geez." Nicole brushed a bit of straw off her shoulder, "He sure is grouchy."

"It's not just that," Kelsey stared horror struck at the sky, "We have nowhere to sleep!" It was at that very moment that every gate in the city was shut till morning.

"Carpet, Nickel." I sighed, incredibly tired.

"Erm . . . uh, I don't have it."

"What do you mean?" Kelsey and I shrieked.

"I let it go for the night – how was I supposed to know someone lived in that house?"

"Great." I muttered, "Just Great, "You tell my embarrassing life's story to everyone in the army, then you get us stuck in the – what circle is this anyway? – the middle of this hospitalization style city! I'm going to go insane!"

"Uh, Mandy." Nicole said cautiously, "You are insane."

* * *

Nice long chappie that presents a bit of Mandy's background personality. I wrote that story with Gina to send her BF (Prince Not-mentioned-before-this-part) to her horror. I have kept it ever since. 


	10. Mordor National Park

**Happy Christmahanakwanzadon!**

_Bonne fete de quelquechoses!_

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**Reveiwers:**

**Queen Islanzadi:** It's funny how I don't have to look at your reveiw six times to spell your name. :)

**Gina:** I only told you I'd written it!

**Meagan**: you are very demanding.

**

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**Chapter 10**

Mordor National Park

_In which the first National Park of Gondor is created_

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Nickel's PoV**

We wandered around all night until we finally found an abandoned house. Apparently this ring of the city was still popular and affordable – even with the severe decline in population that had been occurring for a while in Minas Tirith. This house was nowhere near as nice as the occupied one – for obvious reasons – but we made do and woke up cramped and tired the next morning just as the sun was rising. The blast of light would have been enough to do me in if it weren't for the fact that Kelsey and Mandy seemed to think it was important we get up to the Citadel soon.

"Good luck." I trudged after them, "You know, the gates are guarded."

"If you don't have anything positive to say, Nickel," Kelsey admonished, "Don't say anything at all."

"Okay."

I was, of course, right. The gates were barred against us – being as we were rather unknown.

"It's that crazy sorceress." whispered one guard loudly to his buddy.

"I'll have you know," I said loudly, "that I am not a sorceress, I am in fact much more powerful than that."

The guard glared at me.

"Well I can't help hearing what you're saying. Send a message to the king, or – if he can't be bothered – to one of the perian – Halflings, you know. Or Legolas the elf, or-"

"Fine." Grumbled the guard, and he stalked off to find someone more important to deal with us.

Finally – after a morning any debater would be proud of – we were admitted into Aragorn's presence.

"Ada, they wouldn't let me in!" Kelsey cried angrily.

"I know, Kelsey." Aragorn told her, 'I'm sorry."

"No, no, you don't understand." Kelsey shook her head empathetically, "You have excellent security."

"Oh." Aragorn seemed rather confused, but Faramir took over, and sent for servants to take care of us.

**

* * *

Mandy's PoV**

I glanced around and, seeing Legolas, gestured for him to follow. When I had been given a room, he joined me, sitting on the bed and looking out the window.

"Are you okay, Legolas?" I asked him.

"I was worried about you – you did not join us in coming to the citadel."

"Nickel dragged Kelsey and I off to somewhere in the city. I'm not really sure where . . ."

**

* * *

Legolas's PoV**

The bemused expression on Amanda's face was so adorable. I stood and gathered her into my arms.

"I love you, Amanda." I whispered, kissing the part in her hair, "Now go take a bath and relax. I will be with Aragorn."

And I left her to . . . whatever.

**

* * *

Kelsey's PoV**

I settled in to the most luxurious bubble bath I'd had in . . . ages. I can't remember the last time I had a bath. Just as the bubbles came over my chin, a knock sounded on the door.

"Who is it?" I called, in a decidedly good mood.

"One who loves you."

"Haldir!" I shrieked, leaping about five feet into the air (Which is amazing being as I am just about five feet tall) and grabbing a towel. "Don't come in." I hurriedly pulled something on over the bubbles. "Now you can come in."

He opened the door, looking mildly amused and rather nervous. "I just wanted to say hello." He said, "You could have said you were busy."

"I'm never too busy, Haldir. Have a . . . seat. Never mind." I smile hopelessly up at him, feeling like a complete idiot.

"I'll see you when you finish them." He edged out the door.

My good mood dissipated instantaneously.

"Idiot!" I banged my head against the wall, "Ow."

**

* * *

Nickel's PoV**

I dressed in what they gave me – which was decidedly _NOT_ my style. The dress they gave me would have suited Mandy better. I would have preferred something more practical, but when in Rome . . . Anyways, I set out rather quickly after my bath to find Aragorn.

"Hi, Aragorn, or is it Elessar now? Can I just call you Aragorn?"

"Yes, Nicole."

"You look kind of tired so I'll make this quick. Could you please, pretty, pretty please, Take Mordor and make it into a national park for historical purposes?"

"A what?"

Kelsey came in, followed closely be Amanda. "What does she want, Ada?" Kelsey asked.

"I don't really know . . ."

"Mordor National Park."

"Mordor . . . wait." Mandy stared hard at a statue, "isn't that the desertish place? Why would anyone want to go there for vacation?"

"It's only a desert in the North, Mandy." Kelsey said primly, "The south is quite fertile – how else do you think Sauron fed his armies?"

Mandy muttered something about people.

"Anyways, what's your answer?" I asked Aragorn.

"Will this in anyway endanger my kingdom?"

"No."

"Kelsey?"

"No . . . not in the least bit likely."

"Will declaring Mordor a-"

"National Park."

"-yeah, increase prosperity?"

"Yes." Kelsey and I chimed.

"Will this keep you from being annoying, Nicole?"

I scowled at him, "I'll put it this way, it will greatly reduce what the annoyance will be if you don't."

Aragorn glanced at Kelsey, "er . . . okay then."

I beamed, 'Now all you have to do is write down in law that it is illegal for anyone to build, destroy of attempt to use that land without you permission. I've written it all down for you and you can just read it over." I handed him an elaborate scroll – a portion of my work on our way to Minas Tirith. "Bye now!" And I dragged Mandy off to see some butterflies or something useful like that.

Kelsey followed more sedately.

"That was brilliant, Nickel!" Mandy exclaimed, then stopped mid jump, "Though I can't think of why."

"Look, a birdy!" I yelled, and the chase was on, Kelsey actually abandoning her dignity in favor of crazyness for once.

* * *

Several days went by where we just kind of relaxed and enjoyed ourselves, driving everyone crazy at every chance we got. I'd stay up late with the hobbits and tell them stories, and they told me some of their own – mostly recorded or told to them by Bilbo. On the fifth night, however, something a bit more exciting happened. Kelsey burst in. 

"Can you believe it!" She yelled at the ceiling.

The hobbits scrammed

"Kelsey. . ."

"Haldir is leaving tomorrow."

"And?"

"He didn't tell me until tonight!"

"Ouch."

Kelsey calmed down considerably, though she was nearly in tears, "And what's worse is that Legolas isn't going, so Mandy's going to be gloating about it even though she_ knows_ how miserable I'll be."

"Now, Kelsey, that's not fair to Mandy. You know she doesn't do it on purpose, and she's very good about that kind of thing."

"But she still does it."

"Kelsey, calm down." I dragged her over to a chair, "He'll come back."

"How do you know that – he could just forget about me." She collapsed in tears.

I patted her back hopelessly and sighed. "Kelsey." I said sternly.

She continued to bawl.

"KELSEY!"

Kelsey hiccupped.

"He's returning with Elladan and Eomer to join Arwen's escort."

"Oh." Kelsey's face was still tear-streaked, but she – unlike that rest of the world – still looked nice when she cried. And of course she was wearing a dress that sparkled in the same color as her eyes – which were threatening to overspill at the wrong words.

"He'll be coming back then, and after that everyone goes to Edoras for Theoden's funeral. He'll be with us all the way to Isenguard."

"When do you think he'll be back?" Kelsey looked hopefully up at me.

"By the end of June."

"What!"

"It takes awhile to get across Rohan and back."

"We got across in a few days."

"Kelsey, I don't think Haldir runs cross-country."

"Oh . . . okay." Kelsey stood up rather shakily, "I'm going to go wash my face and go to bed."

"You do that."

**

* * *

Kelsey's PoV**

As it grew closer to the end of June, and I became happier, anticipating Haldir's return, Nicole grew increasingly withdrawn and stayed in her room alone for hours at a time. Mandy and I grew worried when she started acting like a normal person, but when she stopped coming to dinner and refused even to see Mandy – who she tells everything to – we felt something had to be done.

I turned to a source of authority, "Ada," I began, "Nicole's been acting strange."

"Stranger than usual?" Aragorn asked.

"Well, she went through normal and over the other end."

_That_ piqued his curiosity. "I will speak with Gandalf." Aragorn promised, looking troubled.

Gandalf spoke with her, I suppose, because she, went with him and Aragorn one evening and when she came back, well . . .

"Aragorn is into horticulture too!" She exclaimed, interrupting Mandy and I in the midst of our admiration of Pippin's tunic – for the fiftieth time.

"Huh?" Mandy asked, "Oh, you're better now!"

"Aragorn and Gandalf and I went to the mountain, and we found this tree!" She exclaimed, "Aragorn started to freak out and got all excited." Her voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper, "It's a sign."

"The white tree!" I exclaimed.

Pippin looked at his shirt, "I rather think it's kind of silver.

We all ignored him and rushed to see that tree where it was being planted in the courtyard.

"Ooh."

"Ahh"

"SHINY!" Nickel yelled.

Mandy and I glanced at each other, grinning.

* * *

Visits to Mordor National Park are available. 

Ironically enough, this chapter sounds alot like Mandy's writing (I couldn't resist the mush)

This chapter was hard to write, usually, I can just sit down and write something, but prepping for Pastrami's arrival and covering those two months took effort. Wrapping up stories is annoying. Though of course, we are only at a lull. The real plot begins in the sequel.

* * *

NEXT CHAPTER! 

We meet the unknown elf named Pastrami. (Finally)

Shoot, that mean's I have to find out who guessed his name.

This is your last chance to guess his identity. (unless you already know, and I know who you are.)

The teaser can be found in chapter 19 of **Two, Tall, Pointy, Black, Needle-Like Towers**

_-Nickel_


	11. Pastrami

_I should post more on holidays - reveiws come must faster. I posted last night, and woke up to find six new reveiws, though three waere from the same person, but she always does that. _

**Happy Holidays!

* * *

**

Reveiwers: 

**Remember To Feel Real:** how did you know?

**Gina:**I was being depressed

**Meagan:** yes you can go to MNP But I wasn't in Rohan. you and Gina are in the sequel anyways

**Queen Isanzadi:** it's amazing what holiday posting does!

**

* * *

**

**_CONGRATULATIONS_** To Crystal Dragon Claw for guessing Pastrami's Identity, though unfourtunatly, she hasn't reveiwed since . . .

and congrats to Remember To Feel Real for figuring it out as well (Someone who actually continues to rewiew. Yay!)

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 11**

Pastrami

_In which we learn the truth about sugar and Nickel. _

**

* * *

Kelsey's PoV**

"Where's Nickel?" Mandy asked me.

"I don't know!" I snapped, "I'm a little busy, in case you haven't noticed!"

"Waiting for Haldir?"

"If you want to know so badly, yes, I am. You can see the escort in the distance."

"Haldir brought himself an escort?"

"No, Mandy, the escort is for Arwen."

"Oh." Mandy stared off into the distance, "I'll wait with you. I need to get my revenge on Elrohir."

Kelsey gave me a worried look, but contented herself with straining her eyes toward Haldir's direction. And I thought I got lovesick.

**

* * *

Mandy's PoV**

I watched, Kelsey by my side, as Arwen and Aragorn got married. Finally. According to Nickel – who had disappeared – they'd been in love, waiting to get married – somewhere around forty years. That was just sad.

Kelsey was crying happily, "oh, Ada's so happy! I . . . oh . . ." She sighed, wiping away a tear, "Hey, who's that elf?"

"What elf?"

"That blonde one coming over here? Do you think he's Erestor? He was with Arwen's Escort."

I saw the elf, "No, Erestor looks more like Johnny Depp – I met him in Rivendell." I added defensively.

"Then who is he?" Kelsey asked.

"Glorfindel." Nickel said, making us jump.

"Where have you been?" Kelsey asked.

"Right here. Oh no! Hide me, Kelsey!" Nicole ducked behind us.

Kelsey turned to look at her, "What did you do?"

"Nothing!" she squeaked, "Just hide me!"

The elf was way closer.

"Nickel, maybe you should run." I suggested.

She gave me a look that clearly said, "Don't be stupid" and glanced at the elf, shaking her head empathetically at him, "Shoot!" She tried to duck out of the crowd, but was too late. He was upon us.

"Why didn't someone say you were still alive!" he grabbed her shoulders, "Elladan refused to say a single thing!" He kissed her hard on the mouth.

Kelsey and I gaped, "Nickel?" we asked.

She broke away and glared at him, "I haven't told them yet, Pastrami!"

"Told us what?" Kelsey asked angrily.

"Pastrami?" I asked at the same time.

"Glorfin_del_, deli, pastrami comes in delies." Nickel said dismissively and began to edge away from Kelsey.

"Explain." Kelsey ground out.

"Er . . . do I have to?"

"YES!" We yelled.

"Er . . . well – don't kill me – Pastrami, can't you tell them?"

"You said you wanted to." He said doubtfully.

"Yeah, but that was before you decided to-"

"Alright!" He looked a bit guilty, "I saw Nicole just before the council. Elrond had sent me to tell the lady elves that he wished to see them."

"Oh my . . ." Comprehension dawned on me, "I knew I'd seen you before!"

"When was this?' Kelsey asked.

"When Elrond asked us if we were in Rivendell for something important. He sent Pastrami here to tell us to see him!"

"So how did you _meet_ Nickel?" Kelsey asked Glorfindel.

"That same night, I saw her running around in circles looking for something outside."

"And . . ."

"I helped her find . . . the shiny – it was Elrond's ring, but he got it back in the end. We all find it rather entertaining when Elladan and Elrohir hide it places. No one expected one of you would find it, but that was how we met, and then after the council over the two months until you left, we got to know each other better whenever Nickel could sneak away. Just before you left, I asked her to stay with me forever."

"WHAT!" Kelsey and I screamed.

"You're getting married?" I asked, excited.

"You didn't tell us?" Kelsey laughed.

We would have babbled on, but Glorfindel poked us into silence.

"Hey!" I yelled, 'How'd you teach your elf to poke people? Legolas hasn't managed it."

Nickel grinned evilly, "Easy." She poked Glorfindel so he yelped.

"Nickel got all weird and . . . wandered off. I didn't see her again until just now – I was called over to the stables because someone had said there was a fire, but the person was gone."

Kelsey shifted her weight nervously.

"Oh my . . ." More comprehension dawned on my face, "I though she'd just found some sugar."

"So let me get this straight," Kelsey regained her composure, "You met Nickel that night before the council and somehow fell in love with her, asked her to marry you, and she started staring into space and twitching."

"That sounds about right." Glorfindel stared at the sky, "But she was also muttering something about . . . well I don't know what she was saying."

"Ce qui m'aime, c'est mon grille pain!" Nickel sighed.

"That was what she said!" Glorfindel exclaimed.

"Oh," I swung my hand around her head, "She says that all the time."

Kelsey and Glorfindel looked at me expectantly.

"I have no idea what it means."

"It means: my toaster loves me most." Nickel interjected.

"But your toaster-"

"Hush, Kelsey."

* * *

From Chapter Four of Fellowship of the Freaks (And I quote): 

_A very blonde Elf popped up, "You three are needed by Lord Elrond."_

_"Yo!"_

_"Boo!" _

_The Elf ran away, frightened. _

_"Awww, sexy Elf ran away!" Nicole pouted._

* * *

Well now ya'all know who my dearest, and most belovedest elf is! Of course, if you see me just about everyday, you already know, and may have met him. He's so sweet, arn't you, Mon cheri!

I will be posting a one shot with dear old Pastrami and me - do you remember the Thanksgiving Turkey incident?

-Nickel


	12. What is in that Drink?

**Reveiws: **

**Remember to Feel Real:** _The Process of Elimination_ does work well when you only have a limited number of named elves.

**Queen Islanzadi:** In Rivendell, on Thanksgiving, Kelsey went crazy cuz there was no Turkey. We mentioned it during the Chrismas Tree Episode. (ch15, FotF)

**Gina: **Well Nickel is "just weird". :)

That looks funny . . . are you new or are you lazy?

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 12**

What is in that drink?

_In which Aragorn throws a party, and Mandy gets drunk - well what did you expect?_

**

* * *

Nickel's PoV**

That evening Aragorn organized a sort of feast on what must have been the shortest possible notice. I insisted that Glorfindel sit next to me – just as Kelsey insisted that Haldir sit next to her. Afterward, there was dancing and some people sat around like wall flowers. But not Kelsey for once: Haldir swept her off her chair and dragged her onto the floor – gracefully, of course, so that no one but those of us closest to her would notice. Legolas was sitting moodily with the Hobbits, Mandy sitting at his knees, worshiping the step of the dais that he sat on. As for Glorfindel and I, we danced a bit, but then he went off somewhere with Erestor – the Johnny Depp elf.

I wandered over to where Elrond was berating his sons.

"What were you doing with that Palantir?"

"Uh . . ." Elrohir looked around for an excuse.

"We were going to give it to Nicole!" Elladan seized my wrist and dragged me over.

"Yeah, ask her why she wanted it!" Elrohir and Elladan fled.

Elrond raised an eyebrow.

I raised two (the one eyebrow thing is beyond me). "We'll enact a suitable revenge later."

"Of course. . ." Elrond seemed distracted as he pulled me out to the courtyard, "Nicole, I thought I ought to tell you, seeing as you were with Glorfindel at dinner, about him."

"Besides the fact that he's as nutty as almonds?" I asked.

"He was married, when in Gondolin."

I was quiet.

"His wife vanished just after he died though; my father said she must have been Maia – a very secretive one."

"I know about Gondolin." I told Elrond, "But a Maia . . ." I smiled, and then laughed and laughed and laughed.

* * *

Glorfindel and I were dancing again, trying to get close enough to Kelsey and Haldir to sneak a spoonful of butter into either one of them's hair. The only problem is that when people are dancing, they have someone looking each direction. 

"I need to talk to you." Mandy said from my elbow.

"Just a moment." I swatted the spoon, and then gestured for Glorfindel to follow us. For a moment, Mandy looked like she might want to protest, but decided otherwise. "What about?" I asked when we were outside.

"It's about Legolas." Mandy sighed plaintively.

"What about him?" I asked as we wandered to the gardens.

"He's so perfect." Mandy ran her hand over a bush, "OW!"

"Well then don't run your hand over rose bushes!" I snapped – I wanted to get butter in Haldir's hair.

"Calm down, Nickel." Glorfindel laid a hand on my waist, steering me away from the dangerous bushes, which I was starting to edge toward. Some higher deity must be having fun with me right now, torturing my poor mind.

"Well, then why does this have to be so secret?" I asked, "If he's perfect, you can tell him yourself, because I'm certainly not telling him."

"But that's the problem, Nickel, he's an elf."

"And?" I asked, "So are you in case you didn't notice . . . sort of. That chemical reaction must have addled your brains too; you've never been so stupid before."

"Ha ha, very funny, it's all that perfectness that concerns me, he's always on time, well dressed, he's hot, he's polite and considerate, I swear he reads my mind-"

"He probably does, you know." Glorfindel interjected, "Not to worry you or anything."

"If you're reading my mind, Glorfindel-" I let the threat hang.

"You'll strangle me with a neck tie."

"I knew it!" I screamed, "You are reading my mind!"

"He just knows you too well, Nickel." Mandy pointed out, "which is the thing I'm finally getting to, Legolas is perfect and all, but his only fault is that just because he's going to live forever, he seems to think he can take forever to get serious."

"That's the usual thought on the subject." Glorfindel comforted her.

"Then why did you propose to Nicole after knowing her only two months? Were you dropped on your head as a child or is impatience a symptom of dying and being reborn?"

Glorfindel glared at her, "For your information, some people are lucky enough to know at first sight who it was Eru made for them."

I giggled, "Uh, Glorfindel, that 'love at first sight thing' is a symptom of your rebirth, back in the first age we were great friends!"

"Just friends?" Mandy asked.

I kicked her. Eru, the clichés were mounting, next thing you know someone would start nodding.

"How do you know this?" Glorfindel asked, "And were you around in the first age?"

"Oh, drat, I forgot to tell you . . ."

"Tell me what?' Glorfindel asked.

"Erm . . . We were married in Gondolin before you died.

"We're WHAT?" Glorfindel started hyperventilating.

"You're WHAT?" Mandy yelped, at the same time.

I felt the deity start to make me nod, "Elrond told me – though I already knew you were married."

"How does he know that?" Glorfindel looked rather horrified.

"His father told him."

"Why would he do that?" Mandy asked, trying to show her meager historical knowledge to the best advantage, "Glorfindel died before Elrond was born – so why would it matter."

Glorfindel and I glared at her.

"That's not what I meant!"

"I know." I dismissively turned away to go inside.

**

* * *

Mandy's PoV**

I stared at Nickel's back, "Was it something I said?" I asked.

"She's been kind of tetchy lately." Glorfindel apologized.

I stared at him, "Firstly, where did you learn the word tetchy? Nickel doesn't say that. Secondly, you only just arrived today, so how do you know she's been moody – which, by the way, you're right about?"

"I just know." Glorfindel insisted, "And Elrond always says tetchy to describe Erestor when he's feeling moody – I think he picked it up from Estel."

"Oh, okay . . . who's Estel?"

Glorfindel stared at me incredulously. (A/N: I love the word 'incredulous'.) "Aragorn." He stated simply.

"Oh." I stared at my feet. "Hey, where are you going?"

Glorfindel gave me THAT LOOK again, "Inside, Nickel and I still haven't gotten butter in Haldir's hair."

"Go for Legolas's." I advised angrily, "He's preoccupied."

Glorfindel's inscrutable expression cracked into a grin, "Nickel would like that . . ."

Ah . . . revenge is sweet. But, that was enough of my petty notions. I peeked inside and was reminded forcibly of the Christmas Eve party in Rivendell – except this time I had no urge to set up speakers and crazy music. Singing softly to myself, I wandered down into the lower city – where the real party was.

**

* * *

Kelsey's PoV**

Where'd Mandy go?" I asked, glancing over Haldir's shoulder to see Nickel and Glorfindel had given up on Haldir's hair and attacked Legolas instead.

Haldir swung me around so he could see, "You know, they are perfect for one another." He commented, "And Mandy is either lost, or angry at Legolas, because she's not brandishing a sword in attempted defense of him."

I glanced back over my own shoulder, "No, she isn't, maybe someone should drag her back here before she puts some strange music on."

"What do you mean?" We danced closer to the chaos.

"We had a party like this in Rivendell and Mandy scared all the elves with her rock and roll. It calmed down after a while, but the party more of less ended with Nickel threatening Elrond with a fork and spoon."

Haldir choked with repressed laughter. We had stopped dancing now, and were ascending the dais.

Nickel fled from a vengeful Legolas, engaging quite a few stares, "Kelsey, help!"

"Why should I?" I taunted, "You were going to do the same to Haldir."

"No, we weren't; we weren't!" Nickel was on top of a rather unsurprised looking Elrond – which was odd in itself until . . .

A flock of birds flew in.

"Those aren't birds!" Haldir exclaimed, "They're just feathers." He looked around at the quiet hall, "Right?"

But we were all staring – not at Legolas, whose head was covered in feathers – but at Elladan and Elrohir who looked like they'd been tarred and feathered. Elrond and Nickel, the leaning tower of conspirators laughed viciously. And the twins couldn't get revenge on their father. They glanced at each other and then at Nickel, who had stepped across to Glorfindel's shoulders where she sat happily drinking something.

"Anyone have a towel?" Elladan asked.

The whole crowd burst into laughter.

**

* * *

Nickel's PoV**

"So why did you have to attack Legolas's hair?" Aragorn asked me sternly.

I stared innocently back at him. The Twins – still feathery -, Glorfindel, Kelsey, Legolas, Haldir and I were all in a side room at Aragorn's insistence. What he wanted was a quiet party. Yeah right.

"Mandy told me to."

"And you always do what Mandy says?" Aragorn asked, rolling his eyes at Kelsey.

"Well, I think about it, but when she has a good idea, yes."

Legolas moaned.

"What's up with him?" Elrohir asked, "It's just a bit of butter and feathers in his hair, at least he isn't covered."

Legolas glared at him, barely repressing his laughter – the twin did look ridiculous. He sighed, "Mandy told you to?" He asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah." I answered dismissively, "But I don't know why she didn't come to see the fun."

We all looked at each other.

"Mandy wouldn't want to miss a crazy party." Kelsey said slowly.

"She's not likely to stay where it's stuffy." I added.

The elves all stared at us.

"THE LOWER CITY!" We all yelled, running for the door, Kelsey, Legolas and I in front, the others following, leaving Aragorn staring after us with a rather bemused expression on his face.

* * *

The lower city wasn't necessarily bad, by comparison to modern cities; it was quite nice, actually. But the thing was, Mandy could never take care of herself even in the nicest of cities unless it was a Disney village and even then, she might get lost. We split up into two search parties – Legolas with Pastrami and I, and the Twins with Kelsey and Haldir – splitting up the city. Legolas checked one side of the street, while Glorfindel checked the other, and I checked the piles of drunk partiers we occasionally came across. 

We finally found her in a dingy little pub that had a rather skilled band playing something that sounded suspiciously like a rather dirty song based on the _Lay of The Children of Hurin_. (Not recommended for small children). Mandy was drinking something that might have gotten her arrested back home, humming along and occasionally offering up new horrors for Turin to face – such as frying pans and spiders. I covered Legolas's eyes with Glorfindel's hand and plunged into the crowd. Somebody handed me a drink – I threw it on the counter as I dragged Mandy out into the warm summer air.

"Is she all right?" Legolas asked nervously.

"Huh? Oh yeah." I whacked Mandy with somebody's shoe, "She's just drunk."

"Note to Self:" Legolas announced, "Do not let Mandy near fermented substances."

"Or pipe weed." I added.

"I don't smoke." He bristled.

"But the Hobbits and Gandalf do." I pointed out.

"Hi, everyone." Mandy blearily realized where she was, "Legolas, where's my ring?"

He stared at her.

"My ring, Legolas, go make me one!" Mandy waved her arm and whacked him in the nose.

"Ignore her." I advised and began to drag Mandy back up to the citadel, "In fact, go tell the other group we found her."

Legolas set off down hill, while Glorfindel and I lugged Mandy up, me muttering about sassy elves and the negative effects alcohol had on people.

* * *

Well this was random 


	13. It's an elf, It's a hobbit, It's Nickel!

**Reveiws: **

**Queen Islanzadi:** I don't really know, since we havn't written any of them and have no specific cutoff . . . as long as we can make it I guess. This is only chapter 13, so hopefully it will be longer than TTPBNlT - though probably not as long as FotF.

**Remember the Feel Real:** That's why I love him :) He keeps Nickel sort of sane and she keeps him in the deep end. opposites attract and all that. He tends to be a really popular crazy elf - kind of like how the twins are tricksters, Elrond's a nerd, and Legolas is angsty - steriotypes. Though I think we made Haldir distinctly different - I wouldn't like to have too many stereotypical elves.

**meagan:** where did you get that idea? yes b/c he has so many personallities and then they are all translated what ring? yes, but we didn't have any - it wasn't dessert yet.

**Gina:** last chapter of the sequel, acctually. Unless you want to see him sooner?

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 13**

It's an elf, It's a hobbit, It's Nickel!

_In which Kelsey, and Mandy learn something and Nickel and Glorfindel host a pool party . . . sort of._

**

* * *

Mandy's PoV**

I woke up the day after the big party with a headache the size of an Oliphant – and I'm not joking.

"Good Morning, my Alcohol Anonymous friend!" Nickel exclaimed, sweeping into my room with something vaguely resembling coffee, "You have a hangover."

I threw a pillow at her.

"Have some of this – Arwen made it for you."

"What is it?" I asked, suspiciously sniffing the mug – I don't particularly like Arwen.

"Ask Arwen." Nickel swept out grumpily.

I sipped the tea – or coffee like drink – while muttering to myself about crazy people and annoying morning people – forgetting that I was a morning person myself.

Kelsey pushed the door open, "Nickel says you're grumpy. Can we come in without bodily injury?"

"I'm not an exhibit!" I protested, seeing that the whole fellowship came in with Kelsey, Haldir, Glorfindel and Nickel.

"We've never seen an elf get drunk before!" Sam exclaimed.

"Or get a hangover." Haldir added dryly, "Are you sure she's an elf, Legolas?"

I threw the other pillow at him, "Freak!"

Haldir ducked.

Nickel and Glorfindel sat on my bed – or rather Nickel pointed to the bed and sat on top of Glorfindel. "Of course she's not an elf!" Nickel exclaimed, "She's one of the Maiar, just like Kelsey and I."

"WHAT?" everyone except Gandalf, Nickel, Glorfindel and I had leapt to their feet – though Glorfindel would have, it he could have as would I.

"Why do you have a hangover then?" Aragorn asked, being the first to recover.

"Because she was stupid enough to take a form that could get one." Nickel answered promptly, ducking as I tried the whack her. Glorfindel restrained me.

"That doesn't make much sense." Kelsey said cautiously, "I mean, it does, but why would Mandy do that? Can we change again?"

Nickel gave her _a look_, "Mandy simply didn't think. And, yes, we can. Would you like to be invisible," She suddenly disappeared, but her voice continued, "Or a snake," A colorful cobra appeared, making Glorfindel yelp, "Or a man?" a rather Aragorn like guy appeared – Glorfindel wrinkled his nose, "We are anything." and Nickel returned to the way we were used to seeing her, "It's quite simple."

"Right." Legolas looked ill, the rest of the Fellowship –except Gandalf - fled.

Gandalf left more sedately with a, "You may be outside the rules I adhere to, but please don't flaunt yourself, Twit."

"How do you know all that?" Haldir asked, rather shocked.

"After you, Elladan, Elrohir and the Rohirm left, I spent a lot of time in the library."

"We thought you were being introverted and depressed!" Kelsey exclaimed.

"Yeah!" I added.

"Well," Nicole elaborated, "I read a lot of the old stories and found out some things – like a pretty good description of what the Maiar _are._"

"As in . . ." I pushed for some more elaboration.

"Well, you'll just have to figure that out for yourself." Nickel announced.

"What?"

"Why?"

"It's like a cliché – you have to learn for yourself and all that."

"Great."

Nickel shrugged us off by turning into a beam of light and flying out the window.

"Sorry about that." Glorfindel stood up, "She likes to be mysterious."

"We noticed." Legolas choked out.

"I advise you use the library while we're here." Glorfindel said as he left.

"I don't know about you, Kelsey," I sat up, "but I think I'll stick with good old normal elfness." I closed my eyes really tight, "Darn it, I still have a headache!"

Legolas smiled, Haldir and Kelsey erupted into laughter. She hiccupped.

"Oh my." She gasped, "I . . ." She poked herself, "I think I'm human now," She blinked a bit, "And now I'm Eldar . . ." The changes were slight – since Kelsey as a human was so perfect – but present. It was something about the way she held herself. "How strange;" She murmured, "though I don't think I'll try for masculinity."

"The Ainor tend to stick with one or the other." Haldir comforted her, "Nickel was just showing off, I think."

"She would." Legolas muttered.

I nodded empathetically, "Maybe I have it down too – my head ache feels better already!"

"That would be from the Evenstar's tea." A potted plant I hadn't noticed before said primly . . . wait . . . potted plants don't talk.

"Aha!" Glorfindel exclaimed, bursting through the door and grabbing the plant, "Come on Nickel."

"Drat." The plant muttered, turning into a bird and perching on Glorfindel's shoulder.

"Glorfindel," Legolas called, "How did Nickel get you to fall in love with her? She's annoying."

Glorfindel – severely miffed – walked out.

"She didn't have to do anything." I told him, "That's the beauty of it."

Legolas turned red.

"You don't know Nickel like Mandy and I do. She's a different person in private."

"Yeah, she has no qualms about beating you up." Legolas said sulkily.

"No, no!" Kelsey exclaimed, "She's just afraid people won't understand her in public – so she puts on a persona."

"Really, Legolas, you just have to get to know her." I told him.

"And be careful what you say to Glorfindel." Haldir added, "He killed a Balrog, you know."

* * *

Over the next two weeks or so, Kelsey and I faced the grim, vast library, reading ancient books where every other 's' was replaced with an 'f' making them impossible to read. After a few days of this, and finding nothing whatsoever of what Nickel was constantly hinting at, I decided that Nickel had probably made up the whole thing – about there being a book. We cornered Glorfindel one evening after dinner.

"How does she do it, Glorfindel?" I asked, brandishing the knife Galadriel gave me.

He glanced at it scornfully, (Nickel, don't kill me for saying this, but Glorfindel is really _hot_ when he looks at things scornfully . . . or disdainfully come to think of it. Nickel: I know.) "You think she tells me?"

"No, but we want you to find out!" Kelsey told him, brandishing a different one of her many weapons every two seconds.

He sighed, "What do you want to know?"

"How does she change shape?"

He looked surprised, "That's it?"

"Yes, _that's it_." I mimicked acidly, "How does she do it."

Glorfindel cleared his throat, "You could just ask her.'

"She'd never let us forget it!" I told him.

"Yeah, I know." And then he was . . . Nickel

"Hey!"

"Nickel!"

Nickel grinned at us evilly, "Don't threaten my elf!"

"You always beat up Legolas!"

Nickel shrugged, "Only because you can't protect him."

"That's not very nice."

"Will you answer our question, then, Nickel?" Kelsey asked, restraining me.

"It's simple." She answered, "Just be somebody else."

"That's not very-"

"No, I mean mentally, and the physical follows. You have to feel the form you want to take – it's like . . . getting into character."

"Oh!" I gasped, "I get it!"

"I don't." Kelsey sulked.

"It's hard to explain." I told her, "But really simple. You have to pretend to be that other form with all of you – not just your head or your heart – that's why most of the Ainor kept the same form – it's easier."

"Okay . . ." Kelsey still seemed a bit doubtful.

"Can I come out now, Nickel?" Glorfindel asked, poking his head out of a door, "These broom closets are stuffy."

* * *

Of the three of us, Nickel was the best at the whole form changing thing – she'd had so much time to practice. Kelsey was the worst. She was a choir person and choir people tend to be horrible actors – and her especially. She just didn't understand getting completely into character. I soon learned, though, that the whole 'getting into character' thing was the slow way of doing it, eventually I – like Nickel – could change in the blink of an eye. We spent a lot of time spying on Legolas as various plants and people – it was fun. I think Nickel did it because she didn't like Legolas, but I - with every bit of spying - grew to love him more and more.**

* * *

Nickel's PoV**

I was having a Bath. A lovely, fluffy bubbles, and fizzy bath fizzes, bath oil and elven hair care products Glorfindel brought me type of bubble bath. Bath with a capitol 'B'. It was lovely, happy bubble bath - until Kelsey popped in.

"OUT! OUT! I'M TAKING A BATH, NOW OUT!"

"Geez." Kelsey backed out the door, "I was just asking you what you wanted for dinner."

"TEA AND CUCUMBER SNADWICHES!" I yelled for her benefit, "And send Glorfindel in."

Kelsey reappeared, "Nickel, you are taking a bath."

"And?"

"You are in a state of indecency."

"It's a bubble bath!" I splashed her.

"You just yelled at me for disturbing your bath and I'm practically your sister."

"And?"

"You are NOT going to receive visits from a male while you are undressed - much less your boyfriend of an elf."

"Fine!" I told her, "I'll tell him myself."

"You aren't going anywhere, young lady, until you are dressed."

"I'm not going anywhere, Mother." I laughed.

"Then how are you going to call him, when he's on the other side of the citadel?"

"Easy." I giggled, "He's coming now."

"What?"

Glorfindel burst in, "Yes, Nickel?"

"Kelsey seems to think this is indecent." I told him, "I don't see why, since I'm wearing a swimsuit - do you have yours?"

"Yep!" Glorfindel pulled off the bathrobe he was wearing - revealing a very nice pair of red swimtrunks with cartoonish dogs (He picked them, I swear) - and got into the giant bath tub.

Kelsey stared at us.

"Aren't they nice?" I asked.

"Er . . ."

"You should have seen what I got him for Christmas!"

"Do you want me to get them?" Glorfindel asked.

"That's okay." I told him, then to Kelsey, "Do you want to join us?"

Kelsey fled.

I giggled, "Thanks, Pastrami."

"What does Pastrami mean?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Mandy said something about beef."

"Pastrami is like peppered roast beef, actually." I smiled innocently, "NO! DON'T DUNK ME . . . HELP . . . KELSEY . . . Mph!"

* * *

Don't we just love Glorfindel? He wouldn't let me call him Pastrami after that . . . darn. 


	14. A Plot

**Reveiws: **

**Queen Islanzadi:** I was inspired by the Simrallion - amazing stuff.

**meagan:** I already anwered your questions so . . . Manwe says hi.

**Remember to Feal Real:** I need you caracter info for your cameo in the sequel (Pastrami name game) or at the end of this book . . . would you like to be a Maia, a random person Mandy and I know, or one of the evil army (if choosing this, pick an instrument)Your choice, just let me know everything you want in there.

**gina:** I'm not annoying :)

**

* * *

Chapter 14**

A Plot

(Yeah . . . back to our creative titles again)

_In which Mandy becomes a slug, Glorfindel is sexy and Nickel is kidnapped_

**

* * *

Nickel's PoV**

"So what's up with Legolas and Gimli?" I asked Mandy slyly.

They're deciding what's wrong with Minas Tirith." Mandy answered stubbornly.

"Oh." I poked her, "Are you sure?"

"Yes!" Mandy glared at me, "What else would they be doing?"

"Remember, Mandy - Kelsey and I had to convince him to like you."

Kelsey whacked me, "You are vicious."

Mandy was a bit tearful, "You're so-"

"Mandy . . ."

"What?"

"You're a slug."

"No I'm - OH MY GOD I'm A SLUG!"

Kelsey and I kneeled around the slimy thing that was yelling its head - or lack there of (do slugs have heads) - off in Mandy's voice.

"Okay, Mandy, think elf." Kelsey tried.

"You're not a slug Mandy." I told her, "Well, right now you are but . . ."

"I'm not a slug; I'm not a slug . . ." Mandy started chanting.

"That's right, Mandy."

"At least it's just us." Kelsey comforted her too soon.

Legolas walked in at that moment, "Is that-"

"I'm not a slug; I'm not a - LEGOLAS! NO!" Mandy started sinking into the floor.

"Plate!" I yelled.

Kelsey mutely handed me her teacup saucer.

I put Mandy on it, "Okay, Mandy, be a teacup."

"Why?"

"Because it beats being a slug and Legolas will drink tea out of you."

Mandy was a teacup before I'd finished the inflection on "you".

I handed her to Legolas.

"Do I have to?"

"Just drink!" Kelsey snapped, her fingers in her mouth with nervousness. I gently removed them.

I closed my eyes as Legolas took a deep breath and put the teacup to his lips . . .

"Alright, that's nice" Kelsey groaned.

I opened my eyes. Mandy and Legolas were making out. Why am I not surprised?

"MANDY!"

Mandy looked at Kelsey sheepishly.

"I'll just be . . . going" Legolas fled Kelsey's foot.

"HEY!" Mandy yelled, chasing Kelsey around the room.

I rolled my eyes and left.

**

* * *

Mandy's PoV**

"Have either of you seen Nickel?"

Kelsey and I stopped running around in circles.

"Ahhh!" Kelsey screamed and fell over, twitching.

"What's wrong with her?" Glorfindel - our visitor - asked, concerned perhaps that Kelsey was acting unnaturally like Nickel.

I stared at him, "Your . . . boxers . . . did Nickel give you those?"

"For Christmas!" He said proudly, "Have you seen her?"

I looked around, avoiding the sight of Glorfindel in red velveteen boxers with furry white trim - like a Santa hat, but boxers. "She was just here . . ."

He turned to leave.

"You should put a robe on before you leave. But if you don't mind ruining your reputation, you could walk around like that and seize the first Gardenia to laugh at you."

"She wouldn't laugh." He said mournfully, "She's got better self control than that."

"Could you please put something normal on?" Kelsey shrieked, recovering slightly.

"Sorry, Ladies." He left.

We glanced at each other, "Someone needs to murder Nickel." Kelsey announced.

"What if we tie her up and leave her at Glorfindel's mercy?" I asked.

Kelsey glared at me, "He'd just untie her."

"Not necessarily."

"Hmmm."

**

* * *

Kelsey's PoV**

That Night, we crept through the halls, tying to remember where Nickel's room was - these halls look so different at night and there are about six different buildings. She'd also chosen an inopportune time to move around - every night being what I mean.

"This looks about right." Haldir pointed to a door that had papers pinned on it.

We slowly opened it, careful not to creak the door. Nickel was sleeping like a -

"Who's that?" I asked Mandy.

She squinted at the bed, "It looks like Glorfindel but-" We glanced at Glorfindel who stood nervously in the hallway. Legolas handed us our candle.

"Oh my-"

We giggled.

"Lisa would be proud."

"What is it?" Haldir asked poking his head in the door, "oh . . . come on, let's go."

"Oh alright." Mandy grumbled.

I shut the door, "Nickel must have been in there weeks ago."

"Who was it?" Gimli asked.

"My Lady Galadriel and my Lord Celeborn." Haldir whispered - obviously afraid they would wake up.

We crept a way don't the hallway.

"Any idea where Nickel is?" I asked, "At this rate we'll be here all night."

"Glorfindel?" Mandy and Glorfindel held an eyebrow battle. He would have won if it weren't for the fact the Mandy cheated and made her eyebrows into caterpillar-like things.

"Alright, she's in my room."

"WHAT!"

"What?"

Mandy and I glared at Glorfindel. Legolas and Haldir picked up their cue and glared as well. Gimli was clueless.

"How long has this been going on?" I asked icily.

Glorfindel thought. Really hard, "awhile . . . I don't know - sometimes she comes in and kicks me out - sometimes she doesn't. I think it's just when everywhere else is taken."

"That would be Nickel." Mandy muttered.

"At least we know where she is." Legolas offered timidly.

We tramped toward Glorfindel's rooms - which were thankfully always easy to find being as they had been the same rooms since he showed up.

We went in and closed the door behind us.

"Surround the bed." I instructed.

"Ow, my toe!"

"Shhh!"

"Is this the bed or the couch?"

"There _is_ no couch."

"Is it just me or is there a-"

Suddenly, sourceless light filled the room."

Nicole sat on the previously nonexistent sofa in a halo of light. "Hello." She smiled.

"Uhoh." Haldir whispered.

"Get her!" I yelled and we all dived at the sofa.

"I've got a leg!"

"That's _my_ leg!"

"Sorry!"

"Ouch!"

"Where'd she-"

"Mph!"

"Got her!" Glorfindel emerged, gasping and grasping a kicking Nickel.

"Ropes!" Legolas called.

We soon had Nickel secured. The sofa had disappeared and it was darker.

"Do the right thing, Glorfindel." Mandy said, patting him on the back, "This is your revenge."

Nickel struggled against the ropes and gag.

"Bye, Nickel!" we left Glorfindel with Nickel at his mercy.

"That was amusing."

"Night guys!"

We all parted ways and headed for our rooms.

**

* * *

Nickel's PoV**

"Guess who's he-ere!" I sang, bursting into where Gimli and Haldir were trying to figure out how to play scrabble, Legolas and Mandy watched and Kelsey was interrogating Glorfindel - she hid it pretty well when I came in.

Legolas sighed, "I would say you sing horribly, but - annoyingly enough - I can't"

"I know." I smiled sweetly.

"Isil." Haldir laid out four tiles.

"She still sings horribly when she's bathing." Glorfindel offered, "But you don't get to comment on it then."

"How many points is that?" Gimli asked, rifling through the instruction manual - in English, French, Chinese and Spanish which doesn't do much good.

"Why do _you_ hear Nickel singing in that state?" Kelsey asked suspiciously.

"Four points" I told Gimli.

"So it's the number of tiles?"

"Not exactly."

"Glorfindel? Nickel?" Kelsey glared at us.

"Hot tub parties" I told her, "You should join us - that nice guard guy Pip knows makes this great pizza thing."

Kelsey raised an eyebrow.

I raised two. (The one eyebrow thing is beyond me.) "Guess who's he-ere!" I broke off and sang again, sitting on Glorfindel.

"Who?" Kelsey asked, exasperated with us. Haldir had tried to keep her busy for us, but she was still convinced we were doing naughty things behind her back. Well we were married! But then again, I hadn't told her that and Mandy seemed to have forgotten . . .

"Eomer!" I sang.

"Eomer?" Legolas asked hopefully.

"Eomer." Gimli grumbled.

"Eomer!" Kelsey exclaimed.

"Eomer?" Mandy asked, confused, "When did he leave?"

"Eomer!" Haldir yelled, 'Wait, who's Eomer?"

"The guy with the horse tail that saved our guts at Helm's Deep." I explained cheerily.

"Oh . . . Eomer!"

I gave Kelsey a look.

"He's not stupid!" Kelsey exclaimed, "He's winning scrabble!"

"That's because all Gimli can spell is his name and names are out."

"EOMER!" we yelled, charging out of the room to find the Rohirm.

"Maybe he brought us presents!"

I stopped, "Mandy, all he knows of your existence is you life story as told by me. _Why_ would he bring presents?"

"Maybe he wants you to record a cassette tape for him?"

I decide Mandy was not worth questioning and we barreled after Kelsey who had a bit of a head start.

* * *

So . . . I saw those boxers at Walmart . . . they were cool . . . anyways, we're all a bit mad at Mandy right now, so the slug thing is understandable even if I did write it before I realized what a slug she's being. Things are happening now, so we'll get back to cannon and get moving soon . . . and then whatever. We could end this next chapter . . . or the next. Please file any request since I don't really have anything else to focus on. 


	15. The Begining

**Reveiws: **

**nightstarz:** new reveiwer! yeah!

**Queen Islandzadi:** I am being very lazy, that's what's happening. But I will continue them, I'm just incredibly behind on writing them - trying to finish this and all.

**Remeber to Feel Real:** you are going to love yourself . . . she's insane and mad as a hatter.

**gina:** yes, your reviews are boring, but that only because you've said it already at school.

**meagan:** Manwe is one of the valar . . . god things . . . I already explained this, so whatever.

**IheartNewMexico:** Do I know you or are you new? If you are new . . . or not . . . I'm pretty sure you're new . .. have a cookie! or an italian ice. we have some of those in the freezer and it looks like you need one, considering where you are. :)

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 14**

The Beginning

_In which we are bounced around like ping pong balls and it's annoying. _

**

* * *

Mandy's PoV**

"Whoa!" I crashed into Kelsey.

Nicole came hurtling around the corner and fell over, barely missing the human pile. "Ow." she groaned.

"What'd you stop for?" I asked Kelsey. She pointed mutely. "Oh." Instead of the big white hall, a black abyss stretched in front of us, swallowing up the flood and walls. It was like a darkness, there was a point where the white stone got kind of gray, then disappeared entirely. "Forward?" I asked nervously, looking back, "or not." We were surrounded by darkness, except where we stood, but even the bit of light we had was swiftly disappearing. We were soon floating in sheer nothingness.

"How did this happen"" Kelsey wailed. So we weren't in nothing, I though sagely - sound didn't carry in nothing.

"We have ties to the void." Nicole said calmly, "We are of it, you know."

"It's incredibly boring." I told her sourly.

"I know." She said sweetly, "sing something then."

"Why?" Kelsey asked.

Nicole didn't grant us an answer.

Kelsey hummed a bit, "I wonder what Haldir will think."

I sighed, "I'm lonely." Someone whacked me, "Hey!" I attempted to strangle the mean person.

"Ow!" Kelsey yelled, "That's my neck!"

"My hair!"

"Mandy!"

"yowch!"

We finally stopped fighting.

"Where's Nickel?"

"I don't know."

"I wish I could see."

I peered about, "I'm bored."

Kelsey whacked me, "Nickel said to sing."

I sighed, "Nickel is strange."

Kelsey whacked me again

"Lego is hot and fine and…hot!" I sang softly before Kelsey hit me upside the head, groaning.

"Do you know any other songs? That _don't_ involve Legolas no matter how hot he is?" I thought for a moment.

"So long and thanks for all the fish-"

"NO!"

There was a whoosh of color and light. I stared at Nickel who was picking up a plastic bottle of something that had spilled into the sink.

"What happened?" I asked her.

She smiled, "You spilled something, Mandy, what else?"

**

* * *

Kelsey's PoV**

I blinked as a jet of water hit my nose.

"Shelby!" I screamed, running for my sister, "I'm so glad to see you!"

She squirted me again, "Are you all right, Kelsey?"

I smiled, "yeah . . .Gotcha!" I yelled, making use of a can of silly string in my hand.

"Kelsey."

I was home.

**

* * *

Nickel's PoV**

I stared at the sky, lying on my back on the picnic bench. It was very calm here, almost like Arda. I would miss it - that was for sure. But I was glad to be back. It would be difficult to live in two worlds. And I would be in two worlds now. A smile twitched on my lips. Poor Glorfindel, he would be so confused. I ought to remedy that.

"Je suis tombé amoureusse." I giggled a bit, what I wouldn't give to see Glorfindel in _this_ world. Not that that was posi- maybe . . . just maybe.

**

* * *

Aragorn's PoV:**

"Where's Kelsey?" Haldir asked, walking sedately into the throne room where Eomer stood with me.

"What do you mean?" I asked, "Wasn't she with you?"

"She went ahead with Nickel and Mandy to see you two." Legolas answered, "Aren't they here?"

Glorfindel walked in, his face a blank mask of terror, "oh no, no, no!" he wailed, wandering around, looking behind statues, "Come back, Mírisil, Nickel, where have you gone?" he continued wailing and wandering around.

Eomer stared after Glorfindel, "The girl with the carpet is gone?"

"And the other two, yes." I told him, "apparently . . ."

Haldir and Legolas shared a terrified look, 'What if . . ." But none of us dared to say it out loud. It would be too tragic to lose them.

"What if what?" Eomer demanded.

"What if they went home?" I asked, feeling the need to voice our fear.

Glorfindel ran around the room, yelling something, then stopped, and it was almost worse than the screaming, "Yes, they have gone." He told us, but his voice brightened, "I think it will work out though."

"What is it, Glorfindel?" Legolas demanded.

Glorfindel shrugged us off, and left, singing something tuneless and sounding like Nickel had taught him.

"Well that was useful." Haldir muttered sarcastically, "But since he's happy, we can suppose they are all right."

Legolas groaned. "This is annoying."

I shrugged and led Eomer to his rooms, hearing only the last comment from Haldir, "And I was going to propose to her tomorrow."

I smiled, Haldir wasn't so bad for Kelsey, not really. But if only she would come _back_.

**

* * *

Morgoth's PoV**

It was very quiet in the void. But the void was gone, and I was back in a world that had no _Valar_ to protect it. Sauron stood at my side, eyes wide with amazement at the sight of this world.

"I didn't know you were so creative, Morgoth." He breathed.

I laughed, "You know full well I cannot _make_ anything. No, this is manipulation as it should be."

Sauron stared longingly at someone's Saab. I grimaced, but then again, what did Sauron know about cars? What did Sauron know about _anything_?

"We have a lot to do, Sauron." I growled, "And I would advise against stealing a Saab, get yourself a Porsche."

* * *

Well . . . that's it for The return of the Power Hungry Monarchs. We have the first few chapters of the sequel, but it isn't getting posted till we have a title for it. Titles are important you know, so please give me some ideas. we had something a while ago, but I don't remember what it was . . . maybe we should go simple - The Hobbit kind of thing . . . hmmm . . . 

You may or may not have noticed that Cellular Palantirs was taken off the waiting to be posted list - I incorperated it into the end of the sequel - it fit better. So . . . that's it.

Luv ya'all and thanx so much for your reveiws and help on this, especieally Gina/Cu, Meagan, Queen Islandzadi and of course Remember to Feel Real to whom you honestly owe Pastrami, as he might not have come to Gondor if not for one fateful reveiw.


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